The Long Road Home
by Jenna Black
Summary: After a terrible accident in her 6th year, Hermione ran from the Magical world. Now, years later it is time for her to face her past. Intermission added. Rating changed to T in light of next chapter
1. Prologue

The Long Road Home

By Jenna Black

I walked into the office and took a look around. It was the same as it was every other day, people were rushing by, papers were scattered about, and the office was humming with the noise of 50 old computers.

Same as always, but not.

_Odd, _I thought. I sat at my desk and reached up to pluck a pencil from ear, but there was no pencil there. My hair was not the short bob that it had been; instead it was long and frizzy, flowing down my back. I pull a section to my face and nearly scream. Instead of the jet black it's been for the past 8 years, it was my natural chocolate brown. I look down at my outfit, hoping against hope to see a business suit.

Instead of the smart suit I usually wear, I am covered by bulky robes with a Hogwarts crest on them instead.

My hand moves to my waist and I feel my wand resting in its pocket.

_Damn_

I hate it when I have these dreams. I left the world of magic and now it won't leave me be. Taking a deep breath to calm down I sit back in my chair. If I've got to be awake in my dream I am at least going to read a little. I pick up the paper and nearly drop it in shock.

Albus Dumbledore is waving at me.

He's got one of those really annoying smiles of all knowing tranquility. The headline above says he is dead. I look back into his eyes and am forcibly reminded of the only other dream I've had that was this intense. It was nearly five years ago, and almost the same thing happened. Only instead of being at the office, I was in my small flat; and instead of Dumbledore's smiling face in the picture, it was of Hogwarts burning in the distance. When I had awakened from that dream, I re-entered the wizarding world just long enough to see if it was true. It had been. I look back at Dumbledore's smiling face and my vision wavers as tears fill my eyes. I blink them back. _I will not cry._

_Get it together Hermione _I say to myself.

"You know child, if you were to go back, you would be welcome." He said. _Jesus! _I had forgotten that some wizarding photos could talk. He repeats what he said.

_I can't._ I say,shaking my head as I speak. _Too much time has passed and too many things have happened.  
_  
"You're right." He admits, "A lot has happened. But it is never too late to go back."

_Maybe not for others,_ I retort_ but for me it is._

"It is not." He says kindly, before adding, "Do you really think you would be having this dream if it were? You are a witch, Hermione; in your body, in your spirit, and in your soul. It is time you stopped denying it."  
_  
It hurts too much. _I speak as I turn around to look away from the picture. _I can't go back. You might forgive me for what I did, but others can't._

"Yes they can." He says, emphasizing what he says with his hands. "What you did was bad, yes. Not unforgivable. They understand."  
_  
No they don't!_ I say while spinning around to look at him._ They can't!_

"Yes they can!" He replies as forcefully as she spoke. "You are not the only one who has left a friend in need."

_No one else left Ron to die! _I say, wiping a stray tear from my eye. _ That was me, and I… I can't go back to that world._

"You can't keep running from it." He replies, as close to exasperated I had ever seen him. "These things have a habit of sneaking up on you, whether you want them to or not." Taking a breath, he returned to the image of Santa Clause. "You've been running for years. Soon it will be time to face it."  
_  
Not now._ I say tiredly. _Not today._

"Maybe so," He said, "but soon. Face it on your terms," He stressed. "Not it's."

_I can't._ I cry out. _ It hurts too much to face it.  
_  
"Can you honestly say it doesn't hurt to run?" He speaks. I can almost feel him spinning me around and turning up my chin to make me listen. "When you face it, because you will, it will hurt, more than you can imagine." He says harshly, softening, he adds. "But then the pain will ease. In the past 10 years, has the pain you feel now eased?"  
_  
Stop doing that. _I say, shaking my head._ You make it seem as if I have no other option._

"You don't" He states bluntly.  
_  
Yes I do._ I say._ I can ignore you. I can ignore this dream._

"You're right, I suppose you can," He says shrugging, "but you still won't have a choice."

_How do you know? _I ask, the anger bubbling beneath the surface again.

Tired of my hostility, he finally reacts. "For the thousands of years the wizarding world has been around, you really don't think you are the first person to leave it? Others have run, and everyone who has had to face it!"

_I'm different._ I reply, full of righteous anger._ I won't.  
_  
"You are different." He admits, but adds even more forcefully. "But you will still. An event as small as my death would not trigger a dream such as this. The wizarding world is crying out for your help." He adds looking me straight in the face. "Can you really ignore it?"  
_  
Maybe not,_ I reply, turning away, _but I can certainly try.  
_  
"Then you are not the person I thought you were." He says, turning his picture away from me.  
_  
Hasn't the past ten years proven that! _I scream. _I am a muggle now, not a witch! If not in blood, than at least in my mind!  
_  
"If that were true" he said, turning around to face me. "How would I be here?"

_I'm having a dream._ I reply, reaching up and picking up the paper. It was time for this to end._ I have them all the time. Big deal._ At that I grab the edges of the paper, and promptly rip it in half.

With the last strength of the magical paper, I hear in my head. "But this is more than a normal dream. If it were, would you remember it?"

And with that, darkness overtook me.


	2. Chapter 1

I opened my eyes to the light of the setting sun. I was in my bed, and feeling the way my clothes felt against my sweat soaked skin, my standard nightgown. _Just a dream_ _Hermione_, I think to myself_. Just a dream_. I reach for the glasses on my bed stand, and rise to wash the clamminess from my face. The bathroom mirror reflects only my normal reflection. Black hair cut short along my jaw line, and a thin scar running through my right eyebrow. I close my eyes, and when I look in the mirror again it is to find Dumbledore smiling back at me. I spin around, but all that is behind me is my yellow-wood door. I splash cold water on my face, and dry it off using the hand towel lying on the sink. I go to return to my bed and trip over something orange, lying in the center of my room.

Crookshanks is back.

He had disappeared six months after I had left, and I always figured he had gotten hit by a car or something. After all, he was old when I got him; 15 years ago. "So much for you not being magical." I say as I scratch him behind his ears. "Welcome back buddy. But I'm not returning." A moment passes. "I mean it."

He just looks at me and meowed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I say as I go to put my glasses back on, but I grasp something else instead. Holding it up close to my eyes, what had looked like a very large pencil came into focus as my wand.

_Oh Crap. _

I caress the wand and examine it. A warm tingle runs up my arm as I give it a little swish. No doubt at 9 and ½ inches long, Ravenswood shield, and unicorn core; this was a replica of my old wand. It couldn't be mine; not after what I had done to it.

_Could it?_

I experimentally say _Wingardium Leviosa_ and watch amazed as, not only the pillow I had been aiming at, but my entire bed set rose into the air until it hit the ceiling.

"Out of practice, are we?" A sardonic voice says from behind me. I turn around to see the ever-present robes and face of Hogwarts former potions master, Severus Snape.

_Double Crap. _

"What are you doing here Snape?" I say, _professor be damned_. "Don't you have the decorum to leave those who do not want you alone?" Under my hateful glare, he replied.

"Under peaceful times yes, but these are anything but. I'm here on the orders of Albus Dumbledore." He said solemnly. "His last orders."

"So it true then." I say, knowing it was already but needing to confirm it.

"Yes." He said, nodding his head to back up his words. "He died last night, of old age deep in the caves of Hogwarts. Shortly after he died, that _cat_," He said, with particular disdain towards the orange haired ball on my bed "arrived, carrying with it, that wand. I assume it's yours."

"No, it can't be," I whispered; awed. At his look of annoyance, I added. "Not after what I did to it."

"Wands can have restorative magical properties all their own, and can sometimes do astounding things to return to their owners.

"I didn't throw it away or lose it!" I snapped. Taking a breath, I went into my bedroom, and as he debated whether or not to follow, I emptied the closet floor. Lifting up the third and fourth floorboards to reveal a hidden compartment, I had four things; a letter proclaiming my acceptance to Hogwarts, a prefects badge as I never made it to Head Girl, and a picture of three friends laughing happily on the shores of a lake. The final item was in a small box that was shut. Though closed, I knew it contained the ashes of my wand. "Its right here," I tell him, passing him the box. "I broke it in two and burned it. In my muggle fireplace, using muggle methods." I saw him open the box and felt the world slip away from me. Instead of the gray ashes that had been there only yesterday; it was empty.

OOOOO

"I don't understand" Hermione said, and I held back a smirk; getting her to admit she was wrong wasn't something that had happened everyday. "I watched it burn. I picked up the ashes. And those ashes have been there every time I've looked."

"And how often has that been?" I ask, trying to get her to focus on the present.

She paused for a moment, and then whispered, "Often enough." When I remained silent, she snapped "Look, I ran away. I couldn't forget my past; nor could I bring myself to destroy everything."

"How very sentimental Miss Granger." I said. "It almost seems as if you did not want to forget."

"I didn't," She said. "History ignored brings historical problems back to life. You know - history repeats itself? And besides, I'm not Miss Granger." _That's funny, _I thought, _no one at headquarters mentioned she was going by an alias. _"My name is Mrs. Hermione McMillan"

_Well that was unexpected._

"And how did that come about? Mrs. McMillan?" I say, hiding my surprise.

"I met Paul four months after I had left. He helped me catch up to the Muggle world; I fell in love and we were married a year later. He was dead three years after that. He died in the attacks on Parliament. He was a reporter, and got me into the journalism field." Shaking her eyes to clear the pain; she continued "After he had died, I kept his name; it was just easier."

"Easier to keep a name that doesn't belong to you, rather than revert back to whom you once were. How well I know." She was looking back over my shoulder now, and turning, I followed her line of sight to a picture. It was the only item on her mantle, and was obviously important to her. With long black hair and nearly black eyes, pale skin and the faintest traces of age around his eyes; he had been an attractive man. _If only for those who have gothic tastes._ Turning back, I took a long look at her, and saw her as she was right now for the first time. _A tired beauty with wisdom beyond her years; and mournful eyes that had cried for far too many people already._ "I am sorry for your loss."

"Don't be," she says, wiping a tear from her eye. "If I hadn't lost him then I would be perfectly happy right now. And you would have been kicked out the second I recognized you. At least you got me to listen to what you have to say."

_Well it wasn't a yes, but it was a lot closer to a maybe than I had been. For now, I could live with it. _

OOOOO

In the end it had been remarkable simple listening to Snape. With his voice still ringing in my ears I looked around my apartment. _After one supernatural night, this place is no longer my home. Not that it ever really was before._ Sinking into the plush chair in my living room, I hold the picture of Harry, Ron and I. I close my eyes I can see all that I had been told had happened. While Snapes voice had kept the images at bay before, nothing could keep them back in the silence surrounding me now. Slowly, and then faster; snippets of event raced through my mind.

Hagrid being killed by a team of Slithering.

Ginny being raped, tortured, and returned only to die in the Hospital a week later.

Seamus having to kill the Defense Professor of the year to keep Harry from being killed.

Voldemort killing Fudge, and obliterating the Ministry of Magic.

Minerva, ascending to being the ruler if the resistance, late last night; when Albus Dumbledore gave up his 250 year old battle with death.

There had been more of course, but none as compelling as those few. I look down at the picture again, and know I will cry myself to sleep tonight thinking about the general Harry Potter had become.

The sun shone brightly on my eyes when I awoke. Squinting, and body aching, I heard the picture more than saw it fall to the ground. "Damn" I said. _I was hoping it was all a dream._ Immediately after walking into the kitchen, Crookshanks demanded to be fed.

"Yeah, I'll get to you soon enough, just let me get my coffee first." I picked up a coffee habit after trading for the London Times in their New York City branch. Taking a sip, I sighed as the much needed caffeine entered my system. "Ahh… much better. Here you go you silly cat." I said as I placed the food on the floor, and watched amused, as the old cat devoured it in minutes. "Something's never change, do they?" I asked as I washed out the empty bowl. Walking into my room to change, the full force of last night hit my tired body.

Curling up like a baby, I relaxed as the orange tabby resumed the spot next to my tummy, just like so many years ago. Now that the day had come I just couldn't summon the energy to do anything but lay and think. Snape said he would give me a day to make a decision, and would come by at sunset tonight. _That gives me less than 12 hours to face everything. _

_I just have to figure out where to start. _

The only problem was, how do you process ten years of denial and anguish in just one day?

"Just keep breathing," I murmur to myself. _Just keep breathing._ And I did, for three hours, to the rhythm of Crookshanks purring. When the world came back together again; I could feel it was my stomachs hunger that had broken me out of my trance.

Twenty minutes and 3 slices of leftover toast later, my stomach had quieted, but nothing helped my nerves. Catching my reflection in the blank screen of my computer, I couldn't believe the changed just 24 hours had brought about. Hair askew, face ashen and puffy from crying, and eyes that had changed from a tough business woman's to a school girls eyes overnight. _I am no better than my younger self_. All that I have done in the past ten years, all the pain and suffering.

_It was all nothing. _

That was one of the hardest things for me to process. Everything I have done with Paul, all the late night hours spent toiling away to get a muggle diploma, and then degree. _None of it mattered_. And with this new found perspective, I couldn't enjoy any of my past. _Take it with you_, a voice in my head said. _As much as you can, as much as you can bear to. _The voice made it easier, and my breathing returned to normal. I looked up at the clock as it chimed. It was one o' clock. _Six hours left._

_OOOOO _

Meanwhile, six hundred miles and a world away; two former enemies and the leaders of the greatest resistance were discussing the biggest problem of the day.

"We should give her the sun room. She needs as much happiness as she can get." Former professor Phillips Flitwick piped in.

"Oh Phillips, get serious." Remus Lupin said. "It does not matter where her room is. It does not change the fact that these weeks are going to be terrible for her."

"I agree with Remus, Phillius, Severs Snape said. "You have not seen her; no _room_ will help her get through this. Although I would suggest putting her in a room without Gryffindor notations. These caves are going to bring back enough hard memories for her, why instigate them?"

"Quite right Severus," Minerva said. Nodding her head in his direction. "Now if we could kindly move on to another matter." Looking around, there were no objections. "Very well, she will stay in the Raven rooms. Which brings us to our next problem; how are we to help her if we do not even know the circumstances of her leaving. Unless anyone has any new theories?"

Sighing softly, Severus spoke up, and went into the details he had been given the past night. "… and that is all there is, really. In typical Gryffindor fashion, she blames herself for Mr. Weasley's death. She either will not, or cannot, believe otherwise." Looking down, he saw that it was already 7:10. "Excuse me, I must go and find out her answer. If yesterday was any indication, she will be returning with me." With that he stood, and as the apparition wards no longer functional; dissapparated with a pop.

On arriving in Hermione's flat, he found it exactly as he had left it the night before; and her in the same spot. "I did move you know." She said quietly, "And I will be coming with you, which you already know. After all, the last twenty four hours have been nothing but a curtsey call anyways. I know that no matter how _accommodating_ you were last night, there is no denying that I would still be leaving. "

"If that were so, why have you not prepared for my return?" Snape asked, mildly irritated by her melancholy behavior.

"I have," She said, even quieter than before. "But you see I have nothing to take with me. I have floo-ed the few belongings I have need of to the caves already." Looking around, he noticed the bare spots where pictures once stood. _I bet the closet hideaway is empty as well._ "All I have need of is in that bag." Turning with her gesture, he saw a small purse, no bigger than his hand, leaning against a vase of red roses.

"Shall we go then?" He asked, afraid of staying in the apartment a moment longer; it seemed as if she was sinking farther into that damn chair with every passing moment. "Where is that bothersome creature of yours?"

"He found me before, he'll find me again. He disappeared an hour ago, and is probably already there." She sighed once more and gathered all of her strength. Slowly, she rose from the chair, adjusted her skirt, and walked out of the apartment.

Five minutes later, as she and Snape stood close together clutching an old pop bottle between them. (You don't know fizz, 'till you've tried Buzz!) They were standing in an abandoned alley adjacent to her building. As the portkey activated, and the pull behind her navel began; she heard the train go by on its last run of the day.

She did not look back.


	3. Chapter 2

When they reappeared, they were standing in a hallway Hermione did not recognize. It was damp and dark, and she thought it was the lower dungeons. There were no portraits around, and the only light was from a candle burning halfway down the hall. She could hear if not see the rats scurrying around. They dropped the bottle at the same time, and the sound of breaking glass filled the air for a moment before fading away. "This way." Snape said, and turning away from the light, began walking quickly.

"Where are we going?" Hermione asked, and as silence was her only answer, she promptly stopped. "I said where are we going?" Turning around to face her, she saw the spark in his eyes that had been missing yesterday.

"We are going to the cave of Hogwarts." He said, losing his patience. "We are currently in one of the passages outside the castle. In a few moments we will be emerging into the Forbidden Forest." He spat, trying to calm himself. "It is the last of the Orders strongholds. When Hogwarts burned, Voldemort felt he had made his point, and left the ruins to rot and fall. We returned weeks later, and though the castle and wards around it are gone, the caves and the protection they offer were still there. It is the safest place to be right now, and where most of the Order is."_ She looks so scared, _he thought _but she must face her demons now. _

"Okay," she said timidly, and moved to follow him. After walking for another ten minutes, the floor began rising, and they found themselves at the foothills of a small chain of hills. After cresting their third hill, just beyond the back gates to Hogwarts, the castle came into view. Hermione had to bit her lips to keep from crying. What had been a detached sadness looking in the newspaper, became a horror staring at the reality. Where the castle that had held her happiest moments once stood, there were only ruins feeling the effects of nature. Gryffindor tower lay on the ground, and squinting, she could see the great hall, bare to the effects of snow and rain, covered with moss and ivy. With the sunlight fading dusk, and the reds and gold it cast hitting the castle just so, she could almost see the flames that had destroyed it.

Stepping carefully on the rough path, they edged closer and closer to the castle. As they walked signs of the battle were beginning to appear more and more. A satchel, filled with books. A young girl's hair tie. After looking at what seemed to be a torn uniform, she resolved to stop looking. At least she did until tripping over something caused her to come crashing into Professor Snape.

"Watch your step girl." He barked at her; falling into the teacher mode that was always just below the surface.

"I'm sorry Professor; I tripped over something in the path." Regaining her equilibrium; the simple truth of all that had happened hit Hermione as she saw the object that had tripped her. Although the cover was missing, and the edges were burnt; there was one book in Hogwarts quite that big.

_Hogwarts: A History. _

Watching her reach for the book as if it were a hurt child; he was struck by just how young she appeared. Loosing himself in thought, it took him a moment to notice just how heavy her breathing was, and just how badly her hands were shaking. _It's finally beginning to affect her_, he thought, and brought himself down to her level. In all the years he had taught, and indeed all the years before that as well; he had never had a person throw them self upon him she did now. Willing himself to relax, he brought his arms up to her hair, and gently let her cry for a few moments. When she had cried herself out, he helped her trembling body stand, and they silently made their way to the caves.

When they entered, there was silence. _Thank God _Hermione thought. When Snape moved to continue he paused at her sudden stillness. "Just give me a minute." She said, silently saying goodbye to her muggle world. _Goodbye Paul. _After a moment, Hermione's back straightened, as she prepared herself for the encounters that were to come. With a quick twirl to her wand, and a smile to herself, she stepped forward. "I'm ready."

They walked quickly now, and Severus Snape was sure if Hermione had any idea where they were going she would have overtaken him. Finally, after what seemed an endless amount of twists and turns, they emerged into the main meeting room. It was sparsely decorated; the only thing adorning the walls were pictures of those that were gone. Then eight people crushing Hermione in a hug hid the room from her view.

When the hugs and kisses were done, Hermione found herself staring into the eyes of Minerva, Remus Lupin, Professor Flitwick, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and the brothers Fred and George.

"Welcome back Granger." Draco Malfoy drawled from the corner. In all the excitement, she hadn't seen him in the background "Glad to see Severus didn't scare you away."

"Nice to see you too, ferret-boy." She said with a smile. _If he had been nice it would have been too weird_. "Glad to see you've come to your senses." At his nod, she turned to really look at the people surrounding her. All were aged beyond their years. _No major physical changes though, just some scars and wrinkles._ She watched a Snape created a snifter from thin air, and settled down. She nearly broke in to tears when Minerva approached her.

"Welcome home daughter." The old woman said, enveloping her in a hug. "I have missed you child." She whispered, too quiet for anyone but Hermione to hear.

"Come, it is dinnertime." Molly Weasley said, bustling around to get everyone into the kitchen. A simply meal of Molly's beef and potatoes awaited them.

Silence settled in as everyone enjoyed the meal before them. Hermione had forgotten how good Molly's cooking was; and after not eating hardly anything all day it was heaven.

An hour later, after the dishes had been cleared, and everyone had settled in to the small living room; the extended details of all that had happened could be told.

"After everything that occurred the night you left, Harry was extremely distraught." Remus began. "He was severely depressed for quite a while, but finally he pulled through it. I know you've missed seeing him" _A bi_t she thought, but she had been afraid to ask. "He's out on a mission right now; we don't expect him back for several days." _Good, prep time, _she made herself think. "Anyways, after that night, things slowed down for a while. Hogwarts was different and somber no doubt, but it was still _Hogwarts_"

"The attacks outside of Hogwarts continued though" Severus chimed in "Varying in intensity and occurrence. By the end of the year over 15 students had been orphaned. The summer was the worst; we lost three students."

"And at least five were lost to Voldemort's side," Draco said "Goyle, Crabbe, Parkinson, myself, and a Ravenclaw named Nafferty. Of those, Parkinson was killed by an Auror, and Goyle and Crabbe are in Azkaban, thanks to the Order. No one has heard from Nafferty in years; at least that I know of."

"Both Draco cover and my own were compromised. We have been unable to spy for the last six months." Snape added, "The Dark Lord decided to use a combination of Occlumency and Veritaserum to test his believers at the last revel we attended. We were lucky to escape with our lives. I only wish we could have served longer."

"But you served us well for many years in that capacity." Mr. Weasley said, "And you serve us even better now, you brought Hermione back.

"Yes, but back to a world full of trouble," Hermione said, "I still don't understand the full details."

"After that summer," Flitwick continued, bringing them back on track. "The atmosphere in Hogwarts changed. People were scared, rightfully so, and it just got worst as the weeks progressed. It cumulated on Halloween."

"The Slytherins revolted," Minerva said. "The older children fought against the teachers, and the younger children fought the other students. We had all been slipped a magic-suppressive potion. We had known they were dark," she said with a somber look, "but we didn't expect anything like that to occur in the school. The surprise quickly turned to horror when they went to the front gates and let the Death Eaters in."

"I'm afraid I had a bit to do with that." Draco admitted somberly "Crabbe and Goyle were the ones who spiked the drinks at the feast, Parkinson and I were the ones that opened the door."

"After that, things happened quickly." Professor McGonagall said. "We could still fight, but no where near strong enough. Thankfully we could still move and escape. It was chaos, and many died."

"It could have been worse Minerva," Arthur said, he could see her getting too emotional. "You fought and lead many to safety."

"Regardless, many students were lost" She retorted, wiping her eyes. "When Voldemort had finished with the castle, he and his Death Eaters slowly brought it down. First they brought down the wards against fire and destruction, then decay. They set fire to the school, and when the flames ceased they brought down some of the building itself. A few of us returned weeks later. There was nothing salvageable. The sight that was presented to me is something I will never forget. "She said, and quickly withdrew a hanky.

"After Hogwarts fell it was only a matter of weeks before the ministry fell as well." Remus continued, running his hands through his hair. "After that, it was dog eat dog; a guerilla warfare at its worst. Pockets of resistance fighting lone Death Eaters. And it has continued that was for quite a while now. However, it is always darkest before the dawn, and due to a number of occurrences we believe that time is coming when the final battle will begin. That is why we have contacted you." He said, rising to walk over to her. "Regardless of time you are a powerful witch; as well as a good person. We need you." He finished, reaching for her hand.

Evading his hand and standing up, the overwhelming circumstances brought back her self doubt. "How do you know I play such a part? How can any of you know how powerful I am after all this time?" Pacing around the room, she threw her hands in the air, as if trying to sort through the thoughts in her head. "In case you have forgotten, I was never a fully trained witch. Not to mention I have not cast a spell in years."

"Not true," Snape said from his place in the corner. "You cast _Wingardium Leviosa_ last night. If you've forgotten, your entire bed set floated up until it hit the ceiling. Regardless of what you would like to believe you are a powerful witch, and you can be trained."

"As if any of you can fit the training required into the time we have!" She said, grasping at straws now.

"We don't really need to train you Hermione," Remus said gently from the seat he had returned to. "You were ahead of your year, and could best most of the seventh years. We don't need to teach you, we need to remind you."

"Well kindly remind me another day" she said, her fleeting anger spent for the night. "Right now I am very tired, and would like nothing more than a place to lay my head."

"After me, Hermione." Molly Weasley said. Rising to follow her, they walked down a passageway with quite a few twists and turns _some of Hogwarts personality still remains_ she thought. Finally they came to a halt in front of two doors. "The one on the left is your room; the one on the right is Severus. When she opened the door, a room of brilliant blues and royal purples greeted her. While Hermione was a little disappointed to see a room so opposite to the one she had slept in last night, it still felt _right_.

"Thank you Molly" Stepping inside and feeling the plush carpet cushion her. "I am sorry for earlier." she said, feeling the tendrils of shame twisting around her.

"It's quite alright dear, we're just glad to have you back – for you, not the fight." Shaking her head to get down to business; the matronly aspect of her soon took over. "The bathroom is behind that door, and your bed is behind the blue hanging curtains." Smiling, she made her exit.

_At least I'm finally alone._ Hermione thought. Living on her own as she had been, it was discomforting to be around so many others. Walking around the room she took notice all of her items had been put away. The room was very nice, and very reminiscent of Hogwarts in its opulence. All of the rich colors almost made her forget she was underground. After looking at the portraits scattered throughout the room, she quickly grew to love the one of a young girl following a rabbit. _Down the rabbit hole;_ she thought. _Did the person who painted that read Alice in wonderland or watch the Matrix?_ Entering the bathroom, her heart quickened as she beheld the massive tub in front of her. _There's no way I'm not using that tonight._ After appraising the bathroom she returned to look at her bed. _Someone thought this through_ she murmured in her mind. Instead of the standard oversized four poster bed standard to Hogwarts, there was a simple full sized bed, and a standard frame. _I didn't think Hogwarts had anything like that._ Satisfied and mildly comfortable in the room she quickly walked to her dresser and retrieved everything she would need for her bath.


	4. Chapter 3

Only after she could feel sleep tugging at her did she leave the bath and change for bed. Unfortunately, three hours and twenty seven positions later, she had not slept, and was beginning to feel pretty restless. Giving up on sleep for a while, she threw on her nightdress and over gown, and went for a walk. Finding her way thorough the twist and turns was surprisingly easy. _Must still have Hogwarts blood inside of me._ She thought. Eventually, she came to the meeting room. _It's as good a place to enter as any._ The chairs were no where near comfortable, so she contented herself by standing by the warm fire.

"That's for people to floo-in you know" A portrait from behind her says. The woman in the portrait is older, and though she looked vaguely familiar, Hermione could not place her. "I'm Arabella Figg, since I can see you are trying to place me in that head of yours."

"Nice to meet you." Hermione said out of habit.

"No it's not and you know it." The portrait said back. _I'd remember her if I ever met her._ "You've had a great shock to your system; nothing is going to feel _nice _for a long time. At least not until you let it."

Snorting slightly, she replied. "And how do you suggest I do that?" _Why is everyone trying to tell me what to do?_

"Face your past. Stop running from it."

"That's what I'm doing." She said, stomping her foot a little.

"No you're not." She said derisively. "Every time someone hits close to home you still run. Take all of it in, let it break you down; and then rise."

"What makes you think I can?" She asked.

"Because you're a witch. We always have to rise from the ashes." She said, looking almost kindly for a moment. "Forget about what you _know_, remember what you _feel_." With that, she disappeared from her portrait. "I'm tired and going to bed. Talk to another portrait if you want a conversation.

_I didn't even seek you out you ratty old bat._ She thought as she was left in silence.

After the quiet forced Hermione to focus her thoughts, Hermione found herself staring at the flickering flames. _Face my past she says. Talk to another portrait she says_. _Why do the portraits have to talk? _But she was still left with her real thoughts. Looking around the room at the portraits of the fallen, she felt herself sadden. What had been an abstract thought that she would know some of them; turned to crushing pain as she really saw them. Aside from Arabella's picture; she saw Sirius, Hagrid, Ginny, Albus, Ron, and far too many snoring classmates and Aurors snoring away the late hour.

The tears that had been fighting release since she had seen Hogwarts again made their presence known. In the wavering vision of her tears she could see her friend's deaths all over again. Sirius falling through the veil, Hagrids tortuous death, Ginny matching the sheets of the infirmary. Albus's peaceful death settled her a little, but only made the next few worst. The twins Padma and Patil being killed by Crabbe and Goyle, and Lavender dying in a blaze of green. Then Ron's picture came into view. Ron's was devastating; instead of imagination like the others, it was memory.

They has been walking around the Great Lake, discussing what to get Harry for Christmas. It was unseasonably warm, and they were out in only their uniforms and light cloaks. They only had two weeks until Christmas, and Ron was getting desperate. When they sat down to rest on a rock near the water; some_thing_ came out of the water. It attacked them, grabbing them both. She was able to break away. Reaching for her wand and seeing it in the creatures grasp she could do nothing but watch in horror. Still with shock and watching helplessly, it wrapped itself even tighter around Ron, and in a moment they were gone. For moments nothing happened, until the water gurgled and released Ron, her wand in his pocket. Running to him, she could already see it was too late. With his eyes wide open, she could see him looking death in the face. Crying hopelessly on his shoulder, she did not move for a long while.

After she had calmed down a little, she grabbed her wand and cast the preservation spell. Glancing up to the castle, she knew they were too far away to be seen. They would be missed soon though. Looking out over the calm water, a little voice in her head made itself known. _They won't ever believe you. They'll send you to Azkaban. Run while you still can._ Hearing this voice and knowing that at that time it was true, she said goodbye to the world she loved, and silently disappeared into the forest. It had been easy to get to Hogsmeade, and even easier to floo for the last time to the Leaky Caldron.

After that she couldn't think anymore, and sat down wearily in a chair. The tears spent, she did the only thing she could do. She slept.

Hours later she awoke, and standing, noticed she had another guest. "Good morning Professor Dumbledore. What are you doing awake at this hour?" Walking over to his portrait, she saw he was in his old study, surrounded by his swirling gidgits and gadgets.

"I have always been one for thinking at night. It appears old habits die hard. When I awoke and saw you, I figured I had best watch over you. Another one of those old habits you see. After all, the portraits in the empty rooms of these caves will hold a bit longer."

"Do you ever stop working?" She asked smiling, while stretching to wake up. "I think you are allowed to rest now."

"Why, because I am dead? I have said this before, but in today's world it still rings true – _To the well organized mind, death is but the next great adventure._ My real self is on to another adventure, or is resting as we speak. Why not use this part of me to help continue and finis this adventure?"

"Does it not exhaust you?" She asked, bringing a chair over to sit on, taking care not to wake the other portraits.

"Sometimes, yes. But I have lived a long while child; the things which exhaust or revive us are cyclonic in nature. The new becomes old, the old new, and the circle continues."

"Have you ever seen the Lion King?" After a beat she added, "You know what, I don't want to know. I suppose you are right about cycles though; at least until someone throws a wrench in it." She said, motioning towards herself.

"But what really ruins things, and what leads to things happening? I have seen so many 'wrenches' as you put it, turn out to be the correct path. And I have seen someone do what is expected to the detriment of things. It is at these moments that I believe there is a higher purpose; something leading in our actions, and purpose." He said with a smile, looking at one of the whirling disks on his desk.

"So you think there is a God?" Hermione asked. She had always been religious as a child, but found the wizarding world didn't seem to have room for spirituality.

"That I do not know my child, but I believe you must have faith in something. A human being cannot handle everything alone."

"Is that what happened to me?" She asked eyes downcast.

"Only you can answer that Hermione. However, I have found that the hardest thing humans cannot handle on their own is their own forgiveness. Humans cannot forgive themselves until some other being tells them to."

"And who should I go to for forgiveness?" She asked.

"That is also up to you, but you happen to be lucky. The root of you pain is still here, in a way. Not many people are able to talk to those they think they have wronged in such a way. You have that option; you can get your forgiveness, if you only ask."

"You tell me to do something I cannot do." She replied sadly

"You can. Embrace it. Ron's portrait may not be flesh and blood; but it is _him_. You will not be able to move on until you have healed."

"Healing takes a long time." She said through teary eyes. _Why can't I go a moment without crying?_

"Not so long, I have seen. At least not once you begin." With that, feeling he had made his point, he disappeared from his portrait.

_I really hate how they can do that. _

With the silence in the room leaving her with nothing but her thoughts, and the clock chiming away the growing hour; Hermione decided it would be best to head back to bed. _I can't talk to anything in this condition, and people will be up soon. _Sighing softly as she entered her room, she gratefully sank into her bed and was asleep in minutes.

When she finally awoke for the last time that morning, she was left feeling strangely peaceful. _Pretty odd considering how, much sleep I got._ Dressing silently, she decided to save a bath for the end of the day; she had only taken one less than 10 hours ago as it was. But she would miss those bubbles. _Oh well,_ she thought, as she slowly made her way to the bustling kitchen. Apparently breakfast was the most important part of the day in more than one way.

"So many of us leave and go on missions, breakfast is the best time to really keep track of everyone." Molly said from over the stove. Instead of eating in the main room they were all crowded around a table in the corner of the kitchen. "Did you have a good night dear?" She asked while spelling a spoon to stir and a pancake to flip.

Sitting down to eat, Hermione shook her head yes. Apparently her nighttime wanderings had not been noted. _I'm just worried about tonight._

After a good breakfast of pancakes and all the bacon you could want, Hermione was to begin her lessons. The first person up to work with her was Remus. "As the full moon is tomorrow night I am out of the action for the next few days. We can't risk me being in an operation that could run late." Shaking his head to clear it, he continued. "Now what subject would you like to begin with? I can help you with Charms, Transfiguration, or Defense against the Dark Arts."

"I don't want to be taught a specific subject." She said, shaking her head. At his inquiring look, she clarified. "I want to be taught to fight, and survive." She said fiercely; if she could have seen her eyes the intensity would have scared her.

"Very well, let's go to a place where we can practice." Following him mutely, she really looked at the walls she had been oblivious to last night as they descended into the far reaches of the caves.

Mostly bare, they had scattered pictures strewn throughout the length. Looking closely, it appeared there was writing on the wall; but every time she tried to get it in her mind, it skirted away form her understanding. _Runes,_ she finally thought. _That's why you can't look at them. I wonder why I can seem them at all though; unless they want attackers to know about them. "_Remus, how come I can see the runes on the walls? Wouldn't that just make it easier for an attacker to disable them?"

"Wow Hermione, good job. It usually takes a person a week to notice the runes. And yes, it would be easier, if they were the only layer of runes. Hogwarts had a tradition you see, every headmaster or mistress would apply their own layer of runes to the equation, so that once one layer was broken there would be another. After how long Hogwarts has been around, you can imagine how long it would take someone to break through all of the runes. That's one of the reasons we think the caves were left as they are." Finally stopping walking, they were outside a nondescript oak door. Opening it gently, Hermione saw to her delight that it was a room covered with pillows. _Soft spots to land I guess_. Stepping carefully over the uneven landscape, they paused in the middle of the room. "Right then," Remus began. "Let's begin with a basic appraisal of your skills. Start with charms, and throw every charm you can think of at either a pillow or me."

Bracing herself, Hermione began. It came surprisingly easy to her; after she had said the first few spells with Remus' help she was wonderful. Almost everything came back, as if she had never been gone at all. She was better at charms than some of the seventh years he had taught. _It's amazing,_ Remus thought_ she needs almost no coaching at all. I can't wait for Draco or Severus to challenge her to a duel._ Smiling at the image that presented, he returned to his waiting pupil.

After that victory to Hermione, it was decided that, after basic sessions, she would need only practice in the field that she chooses. _I've graduated basically._ After returning to the kitchen for a lunch of sandwiches and cheese, Hermione sat down gratefully. _That took more out of me than I thought it would._ Resting her back against the chair, she ate the sandwich that had been put in front of her and the next two that followed. When she had finished, the only people in the kitchen were herself and Minerva McGonagall.

"Do you know what subject you would like to pursue?" The older witch asked her, as she herself ate her lunch. The atmosphere here was so much more relaxed than it had been; it still confused her that everyone wanted her to call them by their first name. _Another casualty of war I suppose._

"I was thinking or either Mediwizardry or Defense against the Dark Arts." Hermione answered honestly. "Both would serve me quite well, and I've always enjoyed the multi-disiplined fields." Hermione said, stretching to ease her sore back.

"Well I suppose that means you'll be teamed up with Severus." Minerva said, watching the younger girl and only smiling a little when the she tensed up.

"Isn't his specialty Potions?" Hermione asked, trying not to let panic edge itself into her. "How can he teach something else?" _Why are you so worried Hermione? He hasn't been the bastard from before since you've met him. _

"Severus is equally skilled in both, and as Potions is a key component to Mediwizardry, he will be helpful there as well. You may even be able to convince him to teach you both." Minerva said, smiling. The Hermione of old would have jumped at the chance to double up. She wondered what this Hermione would do.

The excitement of doubling up surprised her at its intensity. While she had been excited to learn in the muggle would as well she thought that original hunger was no longer inside of her. _But with Severus Snape? Wouldn't that be the worst kind of torture? "_Doe he really want to teach anymore though? I thought he hated it."

"Why don't you ask me yourself, Mrs. Mcmillan? After all, it is unwise to jump t conclusions. I recall a lovely saying about assumptions." Severus said as he made his presence known. Seeing Minerva's puzzled look, he grew annoyed. "What is it, Minerva?"

"What did you just call Hermione?" She asked looking from the woman in front of her to the man standing in the doorway.

"I called her by her name. Hermione Granger McMillan." He said obstinately, while pouring himself another cup of coffee.

Seeing Minerva's puzzled expression grow even more, Hermione decided it was time for damage control. "When I left the wizarding world, I well and truly left it. I had no intention of coming back. I moved on; I got my muggle diploma and degree, and pursued a muggle career. I also developed a personal life; I married."

"Well where is he?" Minerva asked, "Why did you not bring him with you?" She said, gesturing with her hands.

Taking a deep breath, not really wanting to go into this now, Hermione continued. "I am a widow." She said looking anywhere but at someone. "He was killed in the attack on Parliament a while ago. He was a reporter there, and was right in the thick of it. He never had a chance." Shaking her head to clear the smoke and fire, she continued. "When Severus came to collect me, I had told him to call me by my married name. I was adamant about being separated from my old self. Now though, I must ask that you both revert to calling me Hermione Granger. In this place it will be much easier." After seeing Severus nod of assent, she rose and went to her mentor's place. "And I must ask that you not tell the others of this." She said, kneeling at Minerva's feet. "I will tell the others of my past someday, but when I am ready. No sooner."

"Of course Hermione." Minerva said, using her napkin as a tissue. "You're past is your choice."

To change the conversation, Hermione stood. "Now that lunch is over and Remus is preparing for the full moon, what would you like me to do?" She asked, anxious to get a move away from the emotion of the room.

"My schedule is free for tonight, if you are still inclined towards either of the fields you spoke of before." He said, finishing the last of his drink and retuning the cup to the sink.

"Very well professor. Thank you. Where would you like to begin" She questioned, still wanting to get out of the kitchen as quickly as possible.

"Follow me." He said. "All the supplies we need are in the lab." Walking through the kitchen door she felt her chest loosen as the entered the hallway. Once again she began the long walk into the bowels of the caves. _Why can't they have some of these rooms closer?_ Panting slightly as they reached their destination, she looked down to her watch to see they had been walking for over twenty minutes. "Inomina Partus" He whispered, touching the doorknob with his wand. Soundlessly the door slid open. "This will be our main classroom and laboratory." Motioning to the far wall, she looked and saw rows upon rows of materials and supplies. "All of the shelves along the wall are for your use. The cabinet, however, is for my own personal use; it is much more strongly warded than the cabinet form your second year."

Blushing slightly as she walked over to the cabinets to examine them, she called back "I am sorry about that you know. At least I made the potion correctly though; and you must admit it served its purpose."

"Yes well, I suppose you would take that point of view." Walking over to her, he gave her instructions. "Please select a potion of your choice and begin brewing it."

Looking closely at the rows, she took stock of what supplies she had. There were various caldrons of course, as well as many different mortar and pestles. All of the basic potions ingredients were lined up neatly and alphabetically. _Alphabetically? That puts explosive things next to each other. _Making the decision to change this before beginning her potion, she cleared one row of shelves and began placing the ingredients back on the shelf in a safer way.

"What are you doing?" He asked sharply from behind her. "I told you to brew a potion, not redesign the stores." _She's becoming overconfident already._

"I'm fixing whoever did this." She said waving her arm towards the stores. "Take at look at how they are organized. At this rate one wrong move and this place would be up in smoke. And, to a lesser degree, I am seeing what stores you have here. Tell me, will I be brewing from memory, or will I have a text to consult? The answer will affect my choice of course."

_Well done Miss Granger_., he admitted to himself silently. Motioning to the office though the back, he told her, "You will be brewing from a text. After you have told me what you would like to brew; the office through that door will contain the text to any potion you would like."

"Well, I was thinking," She said as she finished up the last bit of re-shelving, "I was thinking about the inertia potion. We were going to be brewing it in my final year; I had always looked forward to it." She remembered from her readings that this potion, when administered correctly, ceased al function of a person's body. A person could not be woken up by any means, but the counter potion. It was a useful potion in battle, but could only be made in small amounts so it had never been streamlined.

"Very well, please sit down and think of the techniques you will need to perform." After he has left the room and entered the office, he could allow his real thoughts to surface. _The Inertia potion! Most seventh years cannot brew it competently, let alone someone who had done nothing but cook for the past 8 years. _Shaking his head, he walked over to grab the book required. _Still, she would be the person to attempt this._ Walking over to the mirror opposite the desk, he tapped his wand in the bottom left corner twice and muttered "Revelatorio" His face faded away to reveal the lab. Taking stock of her appearance as she was doing nothing but sitting and thinking, he could see the changes that returning to Hogwarts had brought in her. The coloring in her face was much better, and he was sure within a few weeks Molly's cooking would fill out her cheeks some more. _She looks so frail._ He knew it was mostly show though, underneath the pale underweight exterior was hardened steel. When she shook her head the candle light caught it in a mesmerizing way. _She's changing it back_, he realized. _It's a couple shades lighter than what it was, not that anyone else will notice. It will be back to normal by weeks end. All that's left after that is the length._ After looking in her face again he saw the bored expression and decided he had kept her waiting long enough.

Walking through the doorway, he passed the open book to her. The potion was not all that difficult, but for the fine amounts of ingredients required and the exact way they had to be added. "Thank you Severus." She said, and proceeded to get to work. After five minutes of watching her read and gather ingredients, he stood and left her alone.

"I will be through that door it you need assistance" He said. After he entered the office study again, he tuned the mirror into the one –way, and sat down to watch her. With him out of the room she seemed much more relaxed. Watching her, he began to relax himself; he had always enjoyed watching skilled work. While she was no doubt rusty, the innate talent was there. Watching her face as she concentrated, the old school girl showed through more than ever. _She still bites her lip_. He thought. Though he could still see the traces of pain that were written across her face, he also saw an underlying hope that was not there two days ago. Entranced, he lost himself in staring at her actions.

When she was done with the potion, it was the clear blue tint the book had called for. Ladling half into one goblet, she could use the remaining potion to make the antidote. _Not that it's really making anything; I only have to add one ingredient._ Pouring the antidote into a goblet as well, she carefully carried the, both into the office. "Severus, I finished. Would you like me to test it now?"

"Yes, please." He said, marking his place in his book. "I will administer the drug, and then follow with the antidote after I ensure the potion worked." He had watched her the entire time, and knew the potion would work. _She just needs to know that._ "When you are ready." He finished with a calming voice.

Shaking slightly she looked at the man in front of her. He was different from the Severus Snape of her school years. Still snarky and harsh, he was also kind, and had held her when she hurt. _Oh my._ She thought, and with that intake of breath she knew she trusted him, and drank deeply.

After she had finished the potion, he cast a quick spell ensuring her health. _No sign of anything he_ thought. _Good. _Walking over to make sure, he gently checked her vitals physically. With his hand to her neck, he tried not to notice her soft skin, as he searched for a pulse that was not there. Moving her gently to a position that would hopefully not cause her pain, he retreated to his desk, to read a while before waking her. _Peace and quiet at last._

When the blackness she had been in turned to fogginess, and the fogginess to shades of gray; she began to move around. Opening her eyes, she saw the study come to life in front of her. Severus Snape was to her side, leaning over her with his ear next to her mouth. "Hello Professor." She said quietly. It felt like she had woken from a bad nap. The type of nap where you have no dreams, you just blink and hours have passed. She tried not to notice that he smelt so good next to her, or how she could not get up without touching him. "Excuse me." She said, trying to push him away.

He stepped away quickly, and walked over to his desk. "Very well done, Hermione." He said. His saying Hermione felt about as foreign as Hermione saying Severus. "The potion was very well brewed. I am pleased to say we will begin the actual potion making itself; not the theory. Sadly, you're technique was better than some seventh years."

"How long was I out for?" She asked, the state she had been in left no place for time's passage. "There was nothing in the state that I was in."

"You have been under the influence of the potion for roughly thirty minutes. How do you feel now that you are awake" He queried, watching as she tested her muscles and coordination.

"Like I blinked." She said. "There really is no change at all; my muscles don't even feel like they were in that same position for that long."

"Very well, Hermione." He had gotten better at not grimacing as he said her name, but she still noticed.

"I know you don't like to call me Hermione. She said, smiling slightly from the other side of his desk. "I am certainly having issues calling you Severus. It seems regardless of the passage of time or circumstance; I am still the bookworm and you are still the 'greasy git."

Giving her a sharp look at greasy git, she began breathing again as she saw him try to hide a smile. "Some things do change" He said. "Yet I believe you are right. Perhaps in time, but not yet." He didn't quite smile, but he didn't frown either.

Hermione had found since being back that while Snape was no where near jolly, he was relaxed, and calmer. _Compared at least. I wonder if it's the fact that he no linger spies or no longer teaches that does it?_ Remembering what would occur over the next few weeks she added, _I guess I'll know soon enough. _Looking into the mirror that had reverted back, she saw them both in its reflection. While she looked older than her years, he seemed to have remained the same age in appearance as before she had left. _He always defies expectation._ When she looked in the mirror again, a jolt hit her as she realized the cold hard truth. _ We almost look the same age. There is only a ten year difference in our appearance, not the 20-plus it truly is._ And with a start, she realized something else as well. _He could be my brother by appearance. _Her hand flew to her chest as she thought this, and a couple giggles decided to sneak out.

"What is it?" He asked, concerned about a possible after affect toe the potion.

"Oh it's nothing," She said, still laughing a little. _I'm not telling him this for the world. At least not yet._

_Sorry I didn't make any real updates, just wanted to fix some spelling errors. _


	5. Chapter 4

The Long Road Home

Chapter Four

By Jenna Black

Later that night, after dinner had calmed her stomach, Hermione sat at the desk in her room, and tried to write a letter to her boss at the paper. "Dear Sandra," She began aloud to the exact-o-quill that stood ready to write on the sheet of parchment.

"I'm sorry to be writing to you in this way. It is an unfortunate fact that, in life, we must sometimes do things against our wishes. I was called away from home abruptly yesterday for a matter beyond my control, which has no easy resolution." Hermione paused and walked away for a moment. Sandra was a good friend of hers, and it hurt to be treating her this way. When she had been wallowing in despair over Paul, Sandra had been the one to pull her through it; now, ever since Sandra had been widowed a year ago, they had been inseparable. To be giving her the equivalent of a 'Dear John' letter was an affront to all they had been through together. _But she can't know the truth, and I can't tell it._ Taking a breath she returned to the quivering quill, and continued.

"I truly wish I could tell you more, but there are forces beyond my control stopping me. All I can tell you is that I am alright, and I am doing what needs to be done. I'm sorry to leave you and the paper so abruptly, please don't let this mar your thoughts of the past. You've been a wonderful friend, and I will always cherish the memories of our time together. You brought me back from the brink of destruction, and helped me live my life full of joy. Thank you." Taking a breath, she moved to the portrait of a setting sun that was the closest thing she had to a window. Looking at the picture, she could feel the warmth of the sun on her face, and found herself wishing it was real. "There really is nothing left to say, except take care of yourself; I hope to see you around again some day. Love always, Hermione"

The letter done, she walked over to the parchment, and spelled it to resemble muggle stationary. Putting the quill away, she turned to the owl that was sitting on her bedpost, waiting for the letter to be his charge. "I want you to take this letter to the office of Sandra Johnson, in the London Times Main Office. Drop it on her desk when the room is empty. It is _extremely _important that no one see you." Walking over to her door to let him out, she stopped the tawny owl one more time. "Do you understand?" At his hoot of understanding, she muttered "Fly Safe, Fly Sound", and old habit she had picked up from Ginny years ago.

Being left in the room again, Hermione thoughts returned to her previous conversations. _Admit it Hermione, you need to talk to Ron. _"But I don't want to." She muttered softly, sitting on the floor by the fireplace. It had been one of her favorite places to curl up when she was little, and even now, just being closer to the warmth made her feel better. Yet the little voice in her head wouldn't leave her alone. _You're in pain, and there is only one way to heal that pain. Go talk to him. _"No," she said quietly, but the voice didn't stop talking to her. _You trust the people around you; you know they would never do anything to hurt you. Why won't you trust what they've told you? You are stuck, you've been stuck, and it's time for you to move. _"Fine," she muttered angrily, "I'll move, to some place where I won't have to listen to you."

Rising from the warmth and turning away towards the door, she grabbed her wand and left, shutting the door more forcefully then needed. Walking along the hallway, she allowed her mind to wander while she walked the halls. So long as she kept moving she could pretend the voice hadn't left an impact, and wasn't still speaking at that moment. Turning the corner, she saw a door she hadn't seen before, and decided to explore. Opening it gently, a peace came over her when she saw what was inside.

The remainder of the Hogwarts library.

Shelves upon shelves of books, bookcases that seemed to reach for the stars, and aisles that appeared to go on for miles. "Whoa." She whispered, awed that so many books had survived; indeed, it appeared to have _grown_ rather than diminished. Walking down the third aisle to the left, she ran her fingers softly along the spines of the books. She was in the potion section, and happily absorbed titles like _'Dungwingers solutions to Difficult Potions'_, and '**_Potions for Squibs,_**_ (Or Those Who May As Well Be)_'. Breathing in deeply, she absorbed the feeling of the library, the intoxicating smell of paper and ink and knowledge, swirled together into a must she found lovely. Walking a little deeper, her eyes fell upon a book she had not seen in many years. "Most Potente Potions" She read aloud. Picking some books randomly from the shelves (along with "Most Potente Potions"), she laughed as she said "I missed you guys."

"And I dare-say they have missed you too." A mans voice from behind her said. Turning quickly, she saw the Potions Master there, and found herself sincerely wishing she hadn't startled at seeing him.

"Hello professor," She said, shifting the books she had grabbed from one side to the other. "Do you often come to the library?" Walking past him to the small sitting area, she set her books down at the old oak table.

"Probably no more often than you." He replied, walking over and sitting in the matching purple plush chair. "Is there a reason you are here tonight?"

"No," She replied softly, getting a faraway look in her eyes. "Just didn't want to be in my room anymore. The silence of the library is much more comforting than the silence of that room. And you, what brings you here?"

"Since I can no longer spy, I find myself searching these tomes for whatever might help." Glancing at the books in front of her, he asked. "What were you planning on accomplishing tonight anyways?"

"Truthfully?" She asked. At his nod of assent and grumble that he wouldn't of asked if he didn't want the truth, she continued. "I was trying to avoid myself, though that's not the best way to put it. The room was too oppressive. Ever since I have returned everyone has been pressuring me to speak with Ron's portrait, but I just don't feel ready yet. In that room, all I could hear were their voices, and my own, telling me to talk with him."

"That's not that surprising really." He said, and continued when she shot him a look that said elaborate. "While I won't say you need to speak with him tonight, or even this week or month, there is no denying you need to speak with him. A lot of issues will not be resolved until you do. Your mind knows it, and since it knows how to solve that problem, it want's to solve it and move on to the next. It is conjuring up those voices to force you to speak with him, and will probably continue to do so until you do."

"So you're saying the same thing as them then." She stated looking away to hide the pain in her eyes.

"No, I'm not." He stated, trying to get her to look at him. "I don't think you should talk to him until you are ready to. Though I cannot say I do not think you are ready now."

"How do you figure?" She asked, finally looking at him.

"Hermione," He said, though saying her name even then made him feel awkward. _It's necessary_ he told himself, continuing on. "Back when you were in school, I always knew you could do anything you set your mind to. It was never a question of _if _you could do something; it was a question of _when _you would do something. And I never knew you to not take some problem or quest on the moment you could. And I personally think that if your mind is telling you that you need to speak with him as well then you are ready" When she shook her head, and stated that she didn't believe him, he continued. "Very well, as I said before, it is your choice, I'll not push you."

"Thank you," She stated. Changing the subject matter, she spoke again. "What will be on the lesson tomorrow?"

"What would you like there to be?" He asked, when she shrugged her shoulders, he grabbed a book from her pile. "Here," he said, passing her Opalrastins' '_Practical Potions – A Personal Pursuit._ We have the stores to brew any potion in this text. Look it over, and come prepared to brew one of them tomorrow."

Handing the text over to her and rising to go, he was surprised when she asked why he was leaving. "You don't have to leave because of me." She said. He knew she just didn't want to be alone.

"Yes I do," He said, walking to where she stood. Not comfortable with personal contact, he waited until she looked up at him to continue. "You came for privacy, as did I, and though your company doesn't disturb me, it is privacy I need right now. Don't stay up too late." He said, and turning around, left her alone in the massive room.

_Thanks a lot._ She thought. Though she was amazed when the voices did not return. _Shoot, I forgot to ask him about why this place is so big, _she thought as she walked around again. Thought the chairs were plush and soft, they just weren't comfortable to her tonight. Drawing her eyes to another section of the room, she saw a series of pictures. Hung manically on a wall, with no discernable patter, each picture was a different class of students waving at her. Scanning them, the back of her mind recognized students from the years before hers, but shut down when she saw her year. It was a silent picture; she thanked Merlin for that at least. But seeing herself and her friends as they had been when this photo was taken – smiling, laughingly, full of life, cut through her heart and pained her deeply.

Turning away, she closed her eyes, and tried to will herself to look again. After moments of standing there feeling foolish she finally muttered "This is ridiculous Hermione, just turn around and look at the damn photos!" After she did, she added bluntly "There, you've done that."

_Good,_ the voice inside her head said, _Now that you've taken this step, you can take the next. _When Hermione shook her head no, the voice continued. _Look around you Hermione! _The voice screamed, _Look at what you've become! In the space of a week, you've gone from a quick witted, sure of herself reporter, to a sniveling wreck. Do you want to stay that way? It is time to move on. _Her eyes took in the difference that was this library compared to that of her past, and could truly see the changes time had brought. The voice in her head continued it dialogue, though after a moment, it stopped. When it began again, it pleaded, its voice growing softer and more soothing. _You know you are ready for this; you just have to take those small steps. Look at that photo, the one that has caused you so much pain. _She brought her eyes up to the eyes of her photo self and thought they wavered with unshed tears, she could still see herself smiling out at her. _You are ready. _The voice said, _You can do it. _

And indeed in that moment, looking at her strong willed self of the past she knew she could. The strength that she had been looking for in every place but inside her self made itself known, and in that sweeping moment she knew she was ready.

She was ready to talk with Ron.

Walking into the meeting room again, she noted things she hadn't before. The table was circular, and magic had made it so the room matched the curve of the table, with portraits hanging on the wall between where chairs would be. _ I wonder if whoever designed this room knew of Camelot and King Arthur. _Smiling at that, she was sure whoever it was had. Walking to the chair that had been her resting place the previous night, she took a deep breath to center herself, before really looking at the portraits circling her. All the people pictured were sleeping, which for Hermione was a good thing, she didn't want to talk to anyone but Ron now that she was committed.

It saddened her, looking around the room and seeing so many people there. _This war has cost us too much._ She thought, silently appraising the pictures of all the friends she had lost. She saw Arabella again, thankfully silent and asleep. _Crazy old bat._ Next to her was Albus, followed by Fudge, Sirius, and Hagrid. There didn't seem to be any order to them, but she knew she would be finding him soon when she found Ginny's picture.

She was lying on her back, in a grassy field, as a camera was looking down at her. She was happy in her painting, looking like a typical teenage girl without a care in the world, dreaming of her boyfriend. _The world was far too cruel to you Ginny. I'm sorry you had to suffer so. _Glancing to the left, her eye was caught by the bright red hair of the person's painting after hers. It was Ron, and she shook as she tried to remind herself she was ready.

Looking at him for a few moments first, she saw her friend for the first time in years. He was on the Quidditch pitch, lost in a dream that looked like it must contain a teenage girl. Hermione laughed as she was proved right a second later by his muttering Pavarti's name. Apparently this painting had been done off a picture taken when the two had been dating. He looked good, and healthy, and alive. It pained her to know that this was only a show, a shadow of his former self.

"Hello Ron," She said gently, trying to wake only him up. "I've missed you."

Shaking his head groggily, so like the boy of the past, he looked out of his painting and jumped at seeing her before him. "Hermione! You're back!" He shouted, before she had a chance to signal him to be quiet. "Sorry," he said, showing more restraint than his real-life counterpart ever would have. "I've missed you too." When he went on to say more, she stopped him.

"Stop it Ron." She said, holding out her hand as if it could silence him. Thankfully it did. "There are some things I need to say, before anything else." Looking around her, she struggled for the correct words to say what she wanted to say. "Since you've been gone, I've done nothing but run. I've run away from home, Hogwarts, wizarding society – everything, and I'm tired of running now." She paused for a moment, and exhaled loudly. "It's been 12 years since I've talked to you, and I still haven't talked with Harry. 12 long years. All those years, I've blamed _myself_ for everything that has happened, when the truth of the matter is I can't even remember certain things. I know you're not really Ron from _that_ night, and don't have _those_ memories, but I also know that you've been told what happened." Wiping her eye quickly, she continued. "This is not what I wanted to talk about first, but it is what I _need_ to talk about first." Looking at him pleadingly, she continued. "I'm so sorry for everything that has happened, and I completely understand if you never want to talk to me, but please, give me this, tell me what happened."

At her heartbreaking glance, he decided to tell her what he could. "You know I'm not the Ron that was there that night, and so there is very little I do know." When she nodded, he went on, "When we were walking by the lake, something came out of the water and captured us. Somehow you got free, but you had lost your wand at some point in the struggle, and the creature had it. All you could do was watch as I disappeared. After that, I know nothing about that night itself, though I was told some other things. For one thing, the creature in the lake was an Octomagus – a magical creature similar to an octopus, but bigger, stronger, and meaner. A Death Eater had put it in the lake the week before, hoping to shatter the worlds trust in Dumbledore. It brought me under water, and used my life force to make itself stronger. I don't know how my body was returned, though most likely, after I had died, it let my body go, and it floated up to the surface where you could see it." Seeing the tears in her eyes, he knew she was finally taking in the truth, and healing. "The Order doesn't know which Death Eater it was that put the Octomagus out there, though they have their suspicions it was either Lucius or Peter. The Octomagus was killed a week later, by Professor Dumbledore and Snape."

After that, Hermione lost herself in thought, thinking back to that night and all the things she had never remembered. It tired her, and though she knew there was much for them to talk about, she couldn't bring herself to speak anymore. "I know we need to speak Ron," She said, "But no more tonight. I'm too tired to handle any more." She waited for his nod of approval before she turned to go.

"Hermione!" He called from behind, and though she did not turn, she did stop, and he began speaking. "I know you don't want to hear anymore tonight, but there are a couple of things I'm sure you should know. I may not be the Ron of that night, but I am a shadow of that Ron, and _I don't blame you._ What happened was terrible, and I probably would have done the same thing. I love you Hermione, even just being a specter of my true self I know that to be true. And _I'm glad you're home._" She turned to him then, with tears running down her cheeks, and he saw that glimmer of hope that had been lurking near the surface shine brightly for a few moments, before she ran out of the room.


	6. Chapter 5

The Long Road Home,

Chapter 5

By Jenna Black

"What color is the potion?" Professor Snape asked her.

"Light blue," She replied, "With a red-orange patina."

"Congratulations." He said wryly. "You have once again managed to brew a potion beyond the hopes of most accomplished witches and wizards." They were in the lab again, the following morning, and had just spent five hours working on the Aphylaxis potion. "Since you know so much about the brewing of it, tell me the properties of it."

"Yes sir." She nodded her head as she began to clean the mess they had made. It was a messy potion, along with being the most complex one in the books he had pointed to the night before. "The Aphylaxis potion is primarily used to disguise oneself, similar to the polyjuice potion. This potion only lasts for 10 minutes however, and does not change your voice as the polyjuice does. It does not change you to look like a specific person however; it just changes your looks in some uncontrollable way. It has a long shelf life, and is a popular potion during parties, especially those parties of the well-off. Needless to say, it has lead to some interesting altercations in the past."

"You did your research last night." He commented as he cast the bottling spell to the potion, it wasn't a potion that could be altered by magic.

"I did have an ulterior motive to choosing this potion Professor." She said as she approached the bottles that were lining themselves up on the wall.

"It being the most difficult potion in the book wasn't motive enough for you? He asked, a ghost of a smile on his face.

"Well that was a plus of course, but I was thinking about the war." She said nonchalantly as she put on her over-robe that had been too hot to wear with the flame from the fire. "With the shelve life of this potion, it would be ideal for our operatives to carry, just in case. I know the potion doesn't last long or change much, but you would be surprised what a little difference makes. Don't you think?"

When he turned around he got a shock. At some point in her explanation she had quietly taken a sip of the potion, and now had the blonde hair to show it. Knowing that it was her because she had just been standing there didn't change the fact that if they were in a crowded place and hadn't expected it from her he would have had trouble recognizing her. _Her idea may just hold merit,_ he thought. She hadn't been back week and she was already coming up with new ideas. "Good job, Mrs. McMillian." He said, as she went towards the door. "What would you like to do next?"

"Get lunch." She called back, "It's almost three, aren't you hungry yet?" She asked as she paused at the door.

"No, I'm quite alright. Thank you." He said as he began settle himself into his desk for an afternoon of reading notes.

"Very well," She said, "Have a good afternoon."

He had already lost himself in his notes.

OOOOO

Walking into the kitchen, Hermione saw that lunch was long over, and she was on her own. Walking over to the fridge, she saw the makings for a perfect corn beef on rye; it was an old favorite from childhood that would be even better with Mrs. Weasley's cooking. As she finished the sandwich, she watched the clock hung over the stove. Like the Weasley's clock of old, it had no times, just faces and conditions, and included all of the main members of the order. Right now most of the faces were at 'headquarters, though a couple were on 'missions', and one, one was on traveling. When she heard the pop behind her she was afraid to turn around; the face on the clock had spun around wildly for a moment before settling on 'headquarters'.

"Harry?'" She asked fearfully.

"Hermione!" He screamed surprised, grabbing her into a tight bear hug.

"What are you doing here?" They both asked at the same time, separating to arms length. Gesturing for her to go first, she said. "No Harry, mine will take much longer. What are you doing here; I didn't think you'd be back until at least Friday.

"I know," he said, "I wasn't planning on coming back until Saturday at the earliest, but the contact I was attempting to establish happened early." When she asked for more information, he continued. "We have several merchants and wizards that are _quietly _on our side, or are at least neutral. They aren't Death Eaters, so they can't give us deep info, but they deal with Death Eaters day in and day out, and pick up on certain things. Most are older, and have lived through too much war already; they won't make a declaration of support, not until the war is over. They are trustworthy though, and give us good information."

"But why go to them?" She asked, after all, if they had the contacts established, why not just owl?

"For one thing, these people are unwilling to risk an apparation and be revealed as a supporter. Combined with the fact that the floo is watched and owls are intercepted, the surest way of getting necessary information is going to their shops. In disguise, of course" He took a flask out of his pocket and shook the bottle a little. "Poly-juice is a wonderful thing."

Thinking back to the last time she encountered Polyjuice she laughed as she hugged him again. He was taller now and stronger then she remembered; when his arms wrapped around her she felt the muscle that had built up as time had gone on. Stepping back she took in his appearance, while trying to gather words to describe what had happened to her. _He was old._ She thought, forgetting for a moment that she looked just as old. He had lost all his baby fat long ago, and had a tired, sorrowful look to his skin, that showed even when he smiled. His stature had changed, the slouch he had inherited from the Dursleys had been replaced by the stance of a soldier. _He is a soldier._ She reminded herself. "Harry," she asked hesitantly, "How much do you know about the past week?"

"Nothing," He said, "There is a strict no contact rule when out on missions."

"Then I'm sorry to have to tell you this," She took a breath, as she tried to find an easy way to say tell of Dumbledore's death. She decided there was no easy way, so she continued on. "Dumbledore is gone. He died in his sleep, in the best way anyone could hope for." When he didn't show any expression she asked if he was okay.

"No, I'm not okay." He said, running his hand through his hair, and old habit he never lost. "But I'm not surprised either. Dumbledore told me goodbye before I left for this mission; he knew he wouldn't be here when I returned. And I will be okay, because if anyone deserved release from this war it was him." Shaking his head to clear the tears that wanted to fall, he asked, "So how did you come to be here?"

Frowning slightly, she spoke of her dream. "Dumbledore came to me in a dream the night he died, to try to get me to come back to Hogwarts. I wasn't going to, but when I woke up the next morning Crookshanks had returned, along with my stick of a wand. I tried a spell, and as I did, Professor Snape appeared behind me, as if I had summoned him."

"In a way you did." He admitted sheepishly. "When you first disappeared, we cast a spell so that whenever you did anything magical, your location would appear. After about six months, we knew it wouldn't work until you chose to come back, but we never deactivated it either."

"Well that explains some things," she admitted. "Especially how Snape found me. Anyways, after he arrived, we talked briefly of all that had happened, and he tried to convince me to leave the muggle world. I neither agreed nor disagreed, and he left me one night in the apartment to decide. When he arrived the next morning I had come to the decision to return, and had already packed. I arrived at Hogwarts, and began my training under Professor Snape."

"Wow." Harry said, trying to take in the fact that Hermione had come back. _She's home._ He still had issues believing it, even though she was in the same kitchen as him right that moment. "Well I for one am glad you're home. What do you say we get out of this stuffy room and take a walk around?"

"That would be great Harry," Hermione said smiling. "I still haven't had a proper tour of this place, aside from the basics of how to get from there to here."

"Well let's get going then."

OOOOO

Stepping into the sunlight, Harry smiled and said, "This is my favorite spot in Hogwarts." Hermione could see why. Hidden in some unknown pocket of space was a garden overflowing with flowers, herbs, and unknown plants.

"The secret garden." She muttered as she looked around.

"What?" Harry asked.

"It's a book from when I was little." She answered. "My mother used to read it to me at bedtime every night. It's about a girl who finds this locked up garden, and with the help of her friends they turn it into a beautiful place. I always imagined it to look something like this." She said, gesturing around with her hand. The garden was easily as long as the Quidditch pitch, and she suddenly understood how Snape could say they had all the potions ingredients they required. _At least when it comes to plants._

"Gee, I'm so surprised that Dudley didn't have that book!" Harry said, laughing lightly.

Hermione smiled. "It was a very girly book." She admitted. Turning around to look in another direction, she found she couldn't see the castle anywhere. The only thing resembling human interference that she could see were the stones bordering the different sections of the garden. _Keeping Roses and Bellflowers separated – smart. _She thought ­_If the wind caused any petals to touch they could cause each other to deconstruct. _ "Harry, where are we anyways?" She asked. "We walked through a doorway at school and suddenly we're here and the castle is no where to be found. What's the deal, how do we get back?"

"This is one of the only innate magic's that Hogwarts has left." He answered, picking a flower and giving it to her; she promptly began to twirl it in her hand. It was a lilac, and reminded her of the garden her grandmother used to keep. "You may have noticed the caves don't shift themselves as the staircases and hallways used to. Most of that magic was lost, brought down during the attack. The only reason that this magic still exists is because it had next to nothing to do with the castle, and everything to do with the caves. Although, obviously, this isn't the caves. Technically it isn't even Hogwarts." At her questioning look, he continued. "Technically, we're in the Forbidden Forest." He said, succumbing to the urge to sit down on a bench that had just appeared. He shrugged when she sent him a scared look. "Don't worry, this section is protected against all the big nasties; nothing can attack form the outside in, or while inside at all. It's where some of the students hid during the attack; someone had discovered it and made sure at least one person knew of it every year."

"Oh" She said, sitting down on the ground and adjusting the green pillow that had appeared underneath her as she began to sit. "Is this place like the Room of Requirement?" She asked, gesturing to the corner of the pillow that could still be seen.

"Kind of," Harry answered. "Only you get whatever you need as you're here, and you don't have to walk by the entrance three times to get in; you just have to enter through the gateway."

"Okay, so I know how to get in," She said, "But how do I get out?"

"Come with me," He answered, helping her rise and retrieving her flower for her, to put it back on the ground where it promptly replanted itself where it belonged. He led her over to a corner of the garden, where many stones, about the size of a large hands palm, were placed to form a swirling pattern. "Don't touch any of them." He warned, and she withdrew the hand that was about to do just that. _Some things never change. _They both found themselves thinking. "Look at them carefully, can you see the carvings on them?"

When she looked carefully, and purposely looked for words, she found each stone shimmered with opalescent writing on them. The closest one to her read, **Caves: Library, **the one after read **Caves: Potions Laboratory 1.**"They'll take you to whatever is written on them?" She saw her bedroom listed on one, and the main meeting room on another. After that, she noticed only some of them had writing,other sections barely had any written stones; they were as blank as if the river had washed them clean. "What's with the blank stones?" She asked.

"There was a time when there were no blank stones," He answered somberly. "I never saw it though. The garden is connected to the main castle, and whenever it senses that a room is unsafe, or has been destroyed, it erases the name on the stone to protect those in the garden from entering somewhere dangerous. At one point, all the stones were blank. The students were stuck here for a week before Hogwarts thought it was safe for them to return to the building proper. The entrance will also kick back anyone it feels is a threat."

"Good to know." She muttered, thinking _this place isn't a garden, it's a freaking fortress, complete with stores. I didn't even think England had oranges. _She reached up to pick one from the tree she had found at a cornerstone. When she rose, she saw a sundial that had just appeared, and realized it was time for the Order meeting. "Look, it's almost time for the meeting." She said. _That tricks handy, s_he thought looking as the magical sundial faded away. "Back to the meeting room?" She asked.

"Absolutely." He said, reaching down and touching the stone by their feet. With a swish of wind he was gone.

Taking in one last sight of the garden for the night, she noticed it was unseasonable warm. _Must be a heating charm. _She thought, before reaching down and smiling as she felt herself be pulled away.

She could finally go outside.

OOOOO

It was two hours later, and the calm feeling that she had felt as she left the secret garden had been replaced with a feeling of utter boredom. No longer teaching a class, Minerva had turned into a boring speaker, and was now approaching the forty minute mark on the importance of CONTANT VIGILANCE! Needless to say, Moody was very happy in his portrait. In fact he was the only person still remaining in their portrait. The others had left thirty seconds into the meeting, and Hermione cast an evil glance to the portrait Ron would be in if he were here. _The lucky bastard._ She thought, as she tried to fight sleep. She knew it was bad to be wishing she was a painting, but surely it's better to be stuck up on a wall than to have to listen to this?

"Enough!" Someone finally said, and a very grateful Hermione noticed it was Snape who had said it. _There's a big surprise. _"I think we all understand your viewpoint." He said diplomatically. "And as it is getting to be too far into the night to do anything productive, I wonder if we might adjourn. Unless anyone else has anything they would like to say." When there was silence, he muttered a quick, "Very Well," and promptly walked out.

_Go Snape! _She cheered in her head.

As everyone made their way out of the room, Hermione noted the chairs for the first time. Aside from being spectacularly uncomfortable, she noted they had a name on the back of them; apparently, every living member of the order had their specific chair. _I won't tell Snape I slept in his the other night_ She thought, as she made her way around the room, counting the chair's When she reached her chair, she couldn't help but feel discouraged at how few operatives there really were. _Not even fifty, how are we ever going to defeat an army?_

"You know, the meetings dismissed." Harry said from his position in the doorway, bringing her out of her somber thoughts.

"I know." She said, tracing her name in the chair. HEMRIONE MCMILLIAN. She read, and wondered if it wasn't too late to switch back to Granger. _Paul was a separate part of my life, and I'm not even sure if I want his memory tainted by Magic. _ It was not nearly as painful a thought as it had been when she first arrived.

"So Hermione, got something you want to tell me?" Harry asked, gesturing to her last name for the first time since he had come home.

"Oh yeah." She said. In their talk about how she had come to Hogwarts they had never mentioned what had happened while she was a muggle. Taking a breath, she began to tell the story of what had happened for what seemed like the hundredth time.

Harry listened intently, gasping at all the right parts, and offering sympathy when he found out what had happened to Paul. "Wow Hermione, I'm so sorry you had to go through all that alone." 

"Don't be." She said bluntly. "We all have our own crosses to bear. Besides, I wasn't alone, I just didn't have any Magic. I still had my parents at the time, and I still had friends from before. I just didn't have any friends as close to me as you were."

"I didn't know you cared so much." A portrait decided to chime in.

"Hello again Ron." She said, "How long have you been there?"

"Long enough to hear all about your adventures without us." He said, waving hello to Harry as well. "Ginny will be along shortly, she just had to finish a card game with some girl named Mary."

"Good to know," Harry said, "It's about time for us to have a reunion of sorts."

OOOOO

It was hours later, and Hermione had finally retreated back to her room. It was wonderful talking with them, but it was also exhausting, and she was glad to be back by herself. _Besides, going from not talking to them for years to talking to them for nearly four hours is rough. I'll talk to them again soon._

Between seeing Harry, and The Garden, and talking with Ginny for the first time, she was bushed.

But she felt connected, and _home_, for the first time in a long while.

And it was the best feeling she could imagine.

Sleep quickly claimed her with a smile on her face.


	7. Chapter 6

A/N Okay, some of you who have been reading fairly regularly may have noticed there is a BIG gap between my submission of that last chapter and this chapter. I wish I could say hat it was going to get better but I honestly don't think it is. I've got a lot going on in my life right now, from getting married and planning a wedding to two ailing grandfathers to moving to starting to school and to learning a new job at work. Needless to say, I don't have much free time, and I use the little that I have to help keep myself sane – sometimes that means I write, sometimes that means I don't. The only thing I can do is ask for your patience and your prayers and ask that you bear with me. I AM IN NO WAY ABANDONING THIS. It is just the sad fact that sometimes real life has to come first.

The Long Road Home

Chapter 6

By Jenna Black

Waking up comfortably, in a room that just felt _right, _Hermione couldn't tell she had only slept for a couple of hours. She could tell , however, that the burning desire she had felt to visit the garden again had not dissapparated over the night, and wanted to visit the, as quickly as possible. Rising from bed to change from her dressing gown into a pair of blue jeans she had transfigured the day before, she debated between a sweater or blouse until deciding on the blouse. _The gardens are heated, and the potions lab gets so damn hot._ She thought to herself. Pulling her hair into a tight hair band to try to control it, she decided to take a shower after breakfast to further subdue it. Pocketing her wand into the sheath she had been given by Harry, she shrugged on a pair of thong flip flops and made her way to the garden.

When she entered, she was surprised to see she was up before the sun. _How early did I go to bed last night?_ She asked herself, and realized that though she had talked for quite a while with Ron Ginny and Harry, they had started talking early in the evening, and she had probably been in bed by nine. It made sense then, after working at the paper for so many years, she was used to getting only two or three hours of sleep a night. _If I was luck and got to sleep at all._ She thought of all the nights being sustained by nothing but sheer grit, and _Lots_ of coffee. Debating whether to go back to bed for a couple for hours or remain with the roses and tulips, she noticed the sky was turning lighter in the east, and thought of the spectacular view she would be treated to if she remained.

"Well that settles that." Ashe muttered quietly, while arranging herself on the plush, tan colored couch that had popped up behindd her.

Looking at the view of the stars that were still quite visible to her, her mind quickly brought her back to another early morning, years ago and only a moment's thought away.

_They were sitting on a bench in the astronomy tower, the two of the, just talking about school, when Filch had barged in on them. _

_"Well well well, what do we have here?" He said to them, with a grin on his face at the thought of catching _these two students_ snogging, at least in his mind. _

_"Were talking," She had answered to him, drawing herself up with all the self confidence she could muster while desperately hoping that this wouldn't get out. She had been enough of a 'Scarlett women's' reputation in the past, and wasn't keen for it t happen again. It was only a week into their sixth year, and she could just imagine Draco Malfoy now if this got out. _

_"Tell me, why do you and the lad need to be _talking _on the _ Astronomy Tower?_" He said, looking between the, both for signs of other activity, and enunciating the words as if they didn't know what he was trying to imply to begin with. _

_"We are up here because we were kicked out of the common room." She said, looking at Filch squarely in the eye. _Since when I been as tall as him? _She thought, then shook the thought off and continued. "It was determined by the others that we were putting a damper on their ruckus because we wanted it quieter so we could hear what the other person was saying." It hadn't really been the truth, but they were talking about things that neither wanted anyone else to hear, and when they had made there way up it had been early. _"And warmer." _she thought, pulling her cloak tightly around her. _

_Suddenly, from several floors down, a thundering crash sounded, distracting Filch enough that they could slip on the cloak and escape. Standing in the corner, Hermione cast a glamour over the area, showing Filch a sincere apology, from a an illusion of Draco and Pansy, both morphing back to themselves as if Polyjuice was wearing off. _

_"A SET UP!" Filch screamed loudly in surprise. "Detention with McGonagall you two, and fifty points each from Slytherin!" He said, sending them back to their dorms with a wave of his hand. _

_"That was perfect" She heard whispered in her ear, as they quietly made their way back to the common room; anxious to tell the others of what had happened. _

"Miss Granger, Please wake up." She heard from above her, though she couldn't place the voice.

"Huh?" She asked, still wondering what the voice was trying to tell her. Everything was still a fog.

"Miss Granger, It is getting quite tiresome finding you catatonic in some place." He said again, and she could finally place the voice. _Snape. How did I know this day wouldn't go as planned? _

"Sorry" She said as she got up and straightened her robes. "I was up here to watch the sunrise; I must have dropped off at one point."

"Well as the sun rise was roughly three hours ago and it is now nearly ten, I would suggest coming down to meet with the rest of us." He said, leading her to the stone that was marked **Caves: Main Meeting Room.** Reaching down to touch it, she realized just how immune to the snarky Potions Professor she had grown, as the comments he had been saying since they returned had done nothing but make her laugh. _Can't tell him that though. _

After touching the stone and being spirited away, she found everyone gathered in their chairs. Finder hers, she sat gently; the couch hadn't been as comfortable as it appeared, and she now had a crick in her back.

'Where were you?' Harry mouthed to her from his seat.

'Gardens' she whispered back, hoping no one had heard her stomach growl. Based on the plate of food that appeared in front of her and the note that said 'Eat Quickly' she guessed someone had. No one had guilty faces though, and the smell of the bacon was too much to be ignored. _Besides, _she thought _It would be downright rude for me to just leave it. _

Tucking in while Minerva began the meeting, she listened half heartedly until the last idea came up.

"Wait, what do you want to do?" She asked, suddenly wondering why she hadn't paid more attention to the meeting.

"We require certain goods that cannot be grown here or stored for long periods of time." Minerva answered. "Roughly once a month someone must leave and gather these things."

"Well who's going?" She asked, wondering if she couldn't accompany them. _It would be nice to see the outside, if only for a short while. _

"We rotate," Filius told her, from a few chairs down. "Since last time it was Severus and Remus' turn, I believe its Harry's turn. He would need a second, if you're interested."

"Absolutely," She said excitedly. "When do we leave?"

"Give me half an hour to gather supplies and change; and we can go immediately." Harry said rising from his chair. "The normal supplies then?" He asked the table, waiting for anyone to respond with anything different. When no one answered, he promptly walked out.

"Where are we going?" She asked the others that were still around the table.

"To a wizarding market place." Minerva answered. "Out in the countryside. Similar to a Farmers market in the muggle world."

"And what will we need?" She questioned.

At this, Minerva looked to Severus, who up until that time had been silent. "Certain potions supplies, some medical supplies, and some miscellaneous items." He answered, rising to leave. "I shall be in my lab if anyone has need of me"

Watching him walk away, she wondered what had brought about such a change in him. While he was still acerbic as ever, it was tempered now with a soft edge, unlike before. _Does teaching him affect him that much? _She thought, watching him walk away. He carried himself better now, no longer stalking and sweeping, but walking purposely and gracefully.

Rising to leave herself, she said goodbye to the others, and made plans to meet with Remus, for more practice later.

OOOOOO

She had only been standing in the entrance hall for five minutes when Harry walked up behind her. "Ready to go?" He asked. He had changed into blue jeans and a tee-shirt, and wouldn't have looked out of place in a university or school.

"Yup." She answered following him outside. They had emerged into a clearing in the words. Looking around, she couldn't see the castle anywhere. "Another portal?" She asked, wondering where they really were.

"What do you think?" He answered smiling. "Grab my hands." He said, and when she did, he said "Hold on tight."

Instantly after they said that she felt like she was flying. Grabbing his hands tightly, not really sure what was going on, she breathed a sigh of relief when she felt ground beneath her. "What was that?" She asked.

"_That_" He said chuckling "was apparation. You didn't do too badly for your first time. I threw up on mine."

"It felt like one of those carnival rides where you spin round and round while flying." She answered, taking in the sights that greeted her now. Looking out across the field they were in, she felt like she had walked into a dream; there was an authentic _medieval village _in front of her. "Where are we?" she asked again.

"This is the _Olde Tymes Village._" He answered, looking around. "It's muggle, so we won't be recognized. It's a troupe that enjoys dressing up in costume of the middle ages, and selling authentic items."

"So we can get the things we need without being recognized" She said, smiling at the ingeniousness of it. "Will they have everything you need?"

"Just about," he answered. "They even have magical items here, though they don't know it. Thanks to another operative they think dragon scales are fish scales, and that lacewings are flies."

Grabbing her hand he led her to the first stall. It had a majestic purple overhang, and the woman inside was dressed like a queen in an array of fabrics. _Something tells me it's not quite authentic. _She thought to herself, although she didn't point it out; it would do no good and possible lose a bargain.

"Bonjour." Harry said in fluent French, followed by something Hermione couldn't understand. When the women answered in French again, she gave up understanding and just took a look around.

There were roughly thirty or forty tents, of varying colors and sizes. The biggest seemed to be the eating hall. All of the vendors were dressed in medieval garb, although she noted some were not going conservative, by any stretch of the imagination. _It's a competition to have the most glitter._ She thought, glad at least they could get the items they needed. They could have worn wizarding robes and wouldn't have been inconspicuous. Suddenly Harry took her arm, letting her know it was time to move on to the next vendor. Waving goodbye to the woman, they turned a corner and Hermione gasped in shock. Neville Longbottom was walking towards them.

"Neville!" She squeaked in surprise. "What are you doing here?"

"Just gathering supplies like you." He answered. He had grown through the years, and now resembled an athlete more so than a book worm.

"Hermione, I'd like to meet one of the other leaders of the rebellion. Neville runs the faction in France." Harry said, standing behind her.

Throwing down the bag she had been carrying, she quickly engulfed Neville in a hug. "It's so good to see you." She whispered to him, stepping back to look him in the eyes. "How are things on your end?" She asked him, looking around again to see if she recognized anyone else. "Are you alone?"

"Good and yes." He answered her. "We were able to thwart a plan by the death eaters to take over the muggle government, and now we're doing recon to see what their planning next. Our operations are a bit smaller than yours; we mostly do single missions."

Harry chose that point to speak up again. "Have their been any new intelligence?" He asked.

"No news." Neville said, shaking his head in disappointment. "They seem to running low on people after we took down so many; they're laying low until they accumulate more numbers again."

"A moments peace at least." Harry said. "Something tells me it will not remain that was for long."

"How can you tell?" Hermione asked inquisitively.

"I just can feel it, you know?" Harry added. "It's like I can see it just beyond the Horizon. It's coming soon, I just don't know when."

With that sobering thought, the schoolmates were rushed to the present, and the realization that they all had duties to attend to returned. With the half smile that seemed al anyone could manage nowadays, Neville moved away from them.

"Goodbye Neville." Hermione he walked away. They began to move on to other tents, Harry still speaking French and Hermione just absorbing it all. She felt slightly stupid still; for some reason she had never considered what other nations were doing in the fight against Voldemort. '_He's not just trying to rule Britain'_ she berated herself. Looking around at the large groups of people milling around, she asked Harry "You're sure it's safe here?" A chill had come into the air and she just couldn't seem to shake it.

"Safer than most other places" He said, swinging an arm over her shoulder. "There is no perfectly safe place, except maybe parts of Hogwarts."

"True enough," She conceded. Forcing her thoughts away from that train of thought, She cast her eyes about the place, looking for something interesting to watch.

And saw Lucius Malfoy staring at them.

"Harry" She whispered fervently "Lucius is here."

"Where?" He asked, sweeping quickly over the crowd. Hermione pointed to the orange and green stand on their left. At first Hermione wondered why they weren't apparation away, until she realized that Harry _wanted to talk to him._

"Hello Lucius." Harry responded cordially, when they were within speaking distance of him.

"Potter." Lucius responded, completely ignoring Hermione. _Die rat bastard, die! _She thought to herself, glad she hadn't been forced to speak to him yet. She remained silently seething as they spoke for a couple minutes. It seemed this conversation had happened before, perhaps several times. Neither seemed particularly surprised to see the other. _What was going on?_ She asked herself feel completely unprepared for anything but a wand fight. Guessing tat that was where this was going, she slowing inched her hand towards her wand holster.

"Now, now, Miss, you know we don't do that here." Lucius said, not even pausing in his conversation with Harry. Dropping her hand, she raised her eyes to meet with his for the first time in many years. _No more hiding now Hermione. _

There was a moment of silence as everything clicked into place behind Lucius' eyes. There was no outward sign of surprise as years of service to the dark lord had quickly killed that response. "Why Miss Granger" He said coolly "What a ahem, _delightful_ surprise to see you have returned from your rollicks with Muggles."

"I didn't know you cared," She said sarcastically. This summit of sorts was wearing on her quickly, and she really didn't care for one moment of it.

"Lucius I'm sure you re as happy as we are to have Hermione back in this fight, however we must be going now. Evil warlords to bring down and al that, you understand." Harry said, waiting for the snake in Lucius to show itself.

"I assume you are speaking of my master, in your own depressingly twisted way." Lucius said, wile tipping his hat and his hand. "Unfortunately, for you at least, you will see how very wrong you truly were. I'm glad I don't have to wait much loner for that day." Turning in place, he walked away with his back to them, knowing they wouldn't fire in a crowded muggle area. Turning a corner less than twenty feel away, he disappeared.

"Alright Harry. What the _hell _was that?" Hermione asked as they themselves turned towards the copse of tress they had arrived from.

"That was both of us playing nice." Harry responded. "This was has gone on for over ten years now, and not even Lucius can keep up the energy to fight every time her runs into someone from the other side. This wasn't the time to fight, and we both knew it – I wouldn't risk the muggles and he wouldn't risk a two t one fight, at least not when he's the side with only one." Turning her back to look over the crowd she could see the encounter had shaken him more than he was letting on. "He was most likely here for some 'muggle fun'. They have a habit of interrupting things like this every once in a while, it mixes things up to them. Who knows what would have happened if he hadn't seen us."

"Either that or he was here for us." Hermione added, wondering how he could have found that out.

"Regardless, we better get back to headquarters and report this." Harry said, reaching out a hand to apparate with her.

Hermione agreed quickly; the jovial atmosphere of the marketplace felt like it was mocking her.

His hand quickly grabbed hers and led her through the back alleyways towards the copse of trees they had first apparated in were. Left, right, left, left, they turned, Hermione getting more lost along the way, grateful to have Harry beside her.

As they were walking Harry was busy berating himself for thinking this place could remain safe for that long. Stupid, he thought. Turning another corner the were safely ensconced in the trees, no one could see them.

OOOOO

Two hours later she collapsed into the plush chair that had been waiting for her in the garden. The meeting had been tiring and the full implications of what had happened were just starting to affect her.

She was outed.

And now, between begin seen with Harry, and her distinguished past in school, heading the list of those WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE, as one of the posters she had seen in the collection of rubbish proclaimed.

Ina way it felt good; this being forced off of the fence that she had been straddling she reasoned with herself. Living in the muggle world yet still thinking through magic, and then learning how to live in the muggle and being called back to the magic. Sometime s it felt like there were two of her, and in a way, this slowly felt as if it were reconciling those two parts.

Looking out across the way she judged by the suns position that is was roughly four o' clock in the afternoon. Dinner wasn't for quite a few more hours and there wasn't a place in Hogwarts that she would rather be.

Walking towards the jasmine bushes that should never have been able to grow here, she took a couple of petals and gently crushed them between her fingers, releasing the fragrance into the still air. Breathing deeply, she let the fragrance work its magic on her muscles, gently relaxing her into a trancelike peace.

Lost in the recesses of her mind as he subconscious worked its way through her problems, she did not hear Severus appear behind her. Touching her shoulder gently to bring her out of herself, he said "If the scent of Jasmine s so soothing to you I would suggest bring some back up to your room with you."

"The jasmine is only part of what soothes me," She said, gingerly moving about to awaken the parts of her that had fallen asleep. "The garden itself is what really soothes. Besides, right now this feels good."

"It does?" Severus asked, mildly surprised that she could be feeling good after an encounter with Lucius.

"Yes." She replied. "It feels good, great even, no longer being stuck. By seeing me in that marketplace, Lucius freed me in a way."

"Freed you?" Severus asked again, as she was making absolutely no sense to him at all. "You are now more hunted than even before. You're shield of anonymity is gone now."

"Yes, but in its place is something else." She said, as she bent down to deposit the leaves onto the garden floor. They were quickly absorbed, no doubt to be turned into fertilizer for the remaining plants. "Certainty." Standing, she took a deep breath and a smile came over her face. "I know they are looking for me now and I know they will do their damndest to find me. I also know, however, that I am no longer alone. I know I am facing my problems instead of running from them."

That's a lot of things to know." Severus said, watching her as she was speaking. There was such a calm conviction to what she was saying his breath was almost taken away. He could see the spark in her slowly growing now, instead of reverting back to the embers it had been before.

"I know one more thing too." She added, a look of determination coming over her that he almost felt he was looking into the past, at the precocious student she had been.

"And what's that?" He asked, deciding that dinner could wait just a moment more.

In the end he was glad he did, as she looked him straight in the eyes, and with a smile that bespoke the confidant witch she was re-becoming spoke to him. "I know I am exactly where I am supposed to be, and I'm not going anywhere."

He couldn't help but smile slightly at her retreating form. She was back.


	8. Chapter 7

A/N: And there it is. Sorry for the long wait with this; real life has been kinda hectic. In the past three months I've been married, moved, attending school, working 40 hours a week, and seeing both of my grandfathers through some pretty major surgeries. One grandpa is doing fine, the other grandfather has lung cancer and could use all the prayers he can get. Aside from that, things are finally settling down, and I hope to be writing/updating quite a bit more often. Have patience and faith, and I will respond eventually. All reviews are appeciated and encouraged but not required. Thank you for sticking with me!

The Long Road Home

By Jenna Black

Chapter 7

Hermione woke up feeling strange. She hadn't slept well, and had spent most of the night tossing and turning while half asleep. She could still hear the song that had been in her dreams. Opening her eyes, she discovered the reason for this.

She had two singing pumpkins circling around above her head.

They were singing Christmas carols with Halloween words inserted in certain places, and dirty words inserted in others.

"I take it this means it's Halloween?" She said sarcastically to the pumpkins which had just spelt out '**Happy Halloween from Gred and Forge Weasley!!!**' in bright orange. Grabbing her wand, she tried to erase the spelling and get rid of the pumpkins. Unfortunately all she managed to do was make the pumpkins shoot some sort of slime all over her, and cause the writing to start twinkling and pulsating. "Fine just stay there." She mumbled as she started to get ready for the day ahead.

Walking into the kitchen it was to find a Weasley twin eating his porridge at the table. "So which one are you?" She asked. "Gred, or Forge?"

"Can't you tell my darling," He said in a properly smitten boy's falsetto. "It's your Forge."

"That's an interesting way to wish people a Happy Holiday, coating them in pumpkin slime." Hermione said as she grabbed a spoon from the pantry and poured some of the giant vat of porridge onto her plate.

"Oh that's technically not pumpkin slime," he said laughing, "Just a little recipe that Fred and I cooked up."

"Somehow that doesn't surprise me." She said wryly, dropping the spoon back into the sugar bowl. 'Better not risk it.' She thought, looking over to the man now identified as George that was next to her. "Where's your partner in crime anyways?"

"He's on his way. He was a little bit tied up when I left." George said with a smile on his face.

"What does that mean exactly?" She asked, hoping the answer wouldn't be too disturbing.

"Oh nothing much, just that I might have, maybe, charmed his clothes a little." He hedged. At her persistent glare, he continued. "The second he opened his wardrobe door all the clothes in it jumped out and attacked him. Once he takes off all the clothes except those that he plans to wear today he'll be down." At that they fell silent and began eating.

When Hermione had finished breakfast, she said goodbye to the twins (Fred had arrived not long after Georges explanation) and made her way up to the garden. Emerging into the garden she was surprised to see it was completely different than it had been the day before. She wasn't entire surprised, in the past few weeks it had rearranged itself several times, and as time went by, she became more, and more sure that the garden had some sort of sentience to it. Today, she found herself in a little section encircled by ferns and some unknown flower that reminded her of a daisy but that it had red and blue petals. Following a path, she found herself emerging into a clearing.

"Hello Molly." She said to the woman who was busily stringing up what immediately sprang to Hermione's mind as Christmas lights. "What are you doing?" She asked the older woman.

"Oh just giving the garden an idea of what to decorate like this year." She replied.

"This year?" Hermione asked, "What do you mean, this year?"

"Well," She said brusquely as she wiped off her hands, "Every year there is a Halloween party held, sort of a time to get everyone to enjoy themselves and catch up on old times. And the garden, well the garden kind of decorates itself, just like it rearranges itself."

"Oh. Well is there anything else that you'd like help with?" She asked as Molly waved her wand and strung up the last thing of lights.

"Certainly." She said. "If you'll just follow me to the kitchen." She said, walking over and lightly touching the stone marked **KITCHEN.**

"I'll be right there." Hermione said, taking one more look around and trying to imagine the garden as it would look that night.

Materializing in the kitchen, she found herself surrounded by three house elves. "Hermione, meet the remaining contingent of house elves. Ziggy," She said to the elf wearing the purple hat. "Bimmy," she pointed to the one wearing what appeared to be a black polka dot purple turban. "And Twainey" She said to the littlest of the elves, wearing only the uniform he must have been provided with. "They have all remained at the castle by their own choice, and are some of the bravest of us all to do so." She said, wiping a bit of tear from her eye, while the elves themselves started crying openly.

"Missus is very kind" Twainey said to Molly, before all three turned back to their work.

"Well what can I do to help?" Hermione asked, following Molly to a side counter covered in what appeared to be wizarding crackers.

"The elves will handle all of the cooking for the night." She said, and Hermione had let out a breath that she hadn't known she had been holding. Cooking had never become a skill of hers. "What I need help with are enchanting these crackers and making some gag gifts." With a smile she added. "Teaching the house elves this has proven to be difficult."

"Don't quite understand our humor do they?" She asked the elder witch, picking up her first cracker and flashing back to a memory of a vulture topped hat from years ago.

"Exactly." Molly said in reply. "Either they choose something completely mundane such as socks, or completely dangerous such as bobutober pus lollypops. We don't need anyone sleeping at theses things, or dieing either." She added as an after thought.

"Got it." Hermione said, reminding herself to think like the twins for the time being, and settled down into a pattern with Molly.

A couple of hours later they emerged from the kitchen, sweaty and mildly drained of power, but plenty excited for that night. Molly had spent almost the entire time talking about the importance of the night and how much it was anticipated by everyone.

"It really is the only night of the year we have a guarantee of seeing each other." She explained for about the millionth time, and Hermione was beginning to regret asking her for all the details about the night. "Tonight all of the different factions, from all of Britain and most of Europe come together, here."

"Isn't that a bit of a security risk?" Hermione asked, thinking about all the secrets that revealed and all the potential dangers.

"It is." Molly said solemnly, ceasing her gate and turning to look Hermione full on in the face. "But it's worth it." She said fiercely. "If only for a moment of normality, if only for a reminder of what it is were fighting to save."

At that Hermione couldn't say anything for the frog in her throat. "Come dear." Molly gently patted Hermione's back, "Let's get ready for tonight."

It had been early afternoon when Molly had said it was time to get ready. Now, nearly two hours, and countless costumes changes later, Hermione could understand why. She had finally settled on her costume for the night, and memories of old Disney songs were flashing through her head. She was wearing a dress that looked for all intensive purposes like an updated, mildly modernized gown from Aurora in Sleeping Beauty. Laughing to herself she tried to resist the urge to charm the dress to switch back and forth from pink to blue and back. Instead she settled on the color purple. Giving in a little to the temptation, her shoes and jewels would switch colors instead of her dress. Looking in the mirror again she noticed the pumpkins were still singing softly on her bed, they must have floated down at some point while she was gone. Walking to the door she wondered how much longer the enchantments on them would last, they seemed to be on their last legs. Following the writing that was zooming around the room she hoped the vibrant orange would hopefully fade soon. Somehow she doubted it. Closing the door she said a silent prayer in petition for the sanctity of her room and began her walk to the garden.

Emerging into the Garden, Hermione couldn't keep in her gasp of excitement as she took in the first sight presented to her. The garden was unrecognizable. Fairy lights were twinkling through all of the leaves, seemingly multiplying before her eyes. Twirling around in the small section that was where she had 'landed', she saw only one path that was lit with fairly lights, with white fires for all the length that she could see. Stepping onto the path, she was surprised at just how dense the foliage here was, she couldn't see at all outside of her little walkway. Looking to the bottom of the path, she saw that the stones that usually formed the circle had been laid along the path. The writing in the stones sparkled, as if it were some kind of semi-precious stone laid into the rock. "With this garden it might be." She reminded herself quietly, her voice sounding out of place in the stillness of the garden.

Looking around she noticed some of the fairly lights had detached themselves from the trees they had been nesting in. They had floated down to flutter about on her shoulders and just ahead of her, lighting up the walkway even more for it to be comfortable walking along without wand light. Walking along the silent path left her plenty of brain power for reflection. Looking back on the past few weeks, she felt they had truly been some of the most fulfilling of her life. Working alongside Severus brewing the potions they needed, and training to become a field operative was exactly what she was meant to do. This was her place.

When she turned a corner it was to find a thick Ivy curtain blocking her way and her view. Brushing it aside she saw it had been hiding the clearing she had seen in the morning.

The wonder of the walk to the clearing was nothing compared to the wonder of the clearing itself. The branches of trees had come together to form stools and tables and seats and divans for people to mill about and sit on. Piled high on most of the tables were the foods and drinks the elves had spent all morning making. The floor of the clearing was some unidentifiable soil, hard packed, with little give. It was sparkling black onyx in appearance, with swirls of what looked to be rivers of jewels all throughout the floor. The clearing was encircled by tall trees, tall enough that though the clearing was over 50 feet wide the branches of the trees knitted together to form a covering, with fairly lights strewn throughout them to give the appearance of the night sky. At the center of the clearing was a raised dais about 10 feet in diameter, with all the enchanted instruments propped up against it for use later. Walking up to the platform, she saw that it was made of solid amethyst, purple and pink swirling together to rise form the black. Leaning down to look into the depths of the platform, she found the second she touched it, the clearing was full of people.

Looking at all the varying costumes and the splendor of the garden on this night, she felt as if she was in a different world. Especially since everyone was moving and dancing – and completely silent. After a moment she heard the rustling of ivy again and everything came into focus and sound.

"Neat little trick, huh?" Harry asked from behind her. "The garden does that every year to everyone. I still haven't quite figured out how."

"Very neat," Hermione said, smiling and looking at the fairly lights above her, "and it just adds to my theory that this garden can think for itself." Turning around to take in Harry's appearance for the first time, she choked with laughter and asked "Just who are you supposed to be? James Bond? With that tux?"

"No, of course not." he said laughing. "Besides the name is Potter. Harry Potter." He joked, before pulling his wand out to show it was charmed to look like a gun. He pulled the trigger and a small piece of rolled paper came out. It unrolled to read BANG! like on some old cartoon shows. "You like?"

"I'll give you that it's an original idea." She said. "And the gun is an interesting idea." Looking at the faces around her, she grew slightly disheartened. Most faces she couldn't recognize, and those that she could had changed so much. She spotted Neville dancing with some girl she couldn't recognize, and noticed a few faces here and there that were fellow students from Hogwarts. All were scarred in some way physically as well as mentally. "Isn't it dangerous having everyone gathered in one place like this?"

"It would be." He admitted "If it weren't for this garden you've become so attached to. Besides, I still think it is needed, even if it is risky." Looking at him look at the crowd, she could fully see the general in him shining through. "We need this night, more so than almost anything else. This chance to see each other, to laugh and to play like old times as if there were no trouble in the world – we need that." Taking a deep breath he looked at her. "This night is the recharge, and the reminder."

"The reminder?" She asked him

"The reminder of why we fight." He said simply before shrugging.

There was nothing Hermione could say to that.

"Listen I better get going." Harry said after a moment. "There are quite a few people that will have my head if I don't speak to them at some point tonight. Would you like to come?" He asked, unsure if she wanted to be left alone or not.

"No thank you Harry." She said, "I'm fine. Go catch up with the others."

Walking around the outside of the clearing, she noticed that the chairs and tables were all arranged into little half circles and nearly all were full. Walking a little farther, she saw three in a row that were suspiciously empty. "Very suspiciously" She thought to herself. Pretending to not notice and to act like she was just strolling along, she kept her senses attuned and was unsurprised when she felt herself brush up against a disillusionment charm. Continually adding pressure, it quickly gave in and enveloped itself around her, before she completely passed through to the other side. Automatically closing her eyes at the strange sensation, she opened them, and was unsurprised to see the one person she could think of that would do their best to avoid a gathering. "Ever the life of the party, huh Severus?" She asked the man that was comfortably lounging on a seat while sipping something she was sure contained alcohol.

"Very funny Hermione" He said from his seat, and waved his hand in a gesture that meant sit down – if one was being generous. Extremely generous.

"Ming if I join your little corner of the world?" She said in a voice to match her outfit. She sat down before he answered, and felt the tree mold itself around her body.

"So why are you here?" He asked her, after a couple moments of silence. "Shouldn't you be off gallivanting with the Weasley twins and boy wonder?" He asked, twisting his voice at the mention of 'boy-wonder'.

"Because, it's a lot more fun to watch, and quite a bit safer." She responded.

"What fools they make of themselves." He said as the boys were cornered, goo-ed and feathered by the three witches they had been harassing.

"Completely." She said smiling. "Besides, it's nice to see all of the faces."

"Take count and see who's here?" He asked wryly.

"I suppose so." She said, looking out into the crowd again.

"That is the difference in us," He said quietly. "You look out into the crowd and see who's there. I look out into that crowd and see only the missing faces."

"I guess that makes me lucky. Having only been here for so short a time, I don't have nearly as many people to see in this crowd who are no longer there." She admitted, playing with her hands in her lap.

"You must strive to hang onto that Hermione." He said candidly to her, waiting to catch her eye. "Since that will not always be so." Pausing for a second, he continued. "Looking out into that crowd, you see a good amount of people. I look out into that crowd and I see only half of who was here four years ago, and nearly a quarter of who was here at the beginning."

Grimacing slightly, she asked "We're losing this war, aren't we?"

"We were losing this war from the moment it began." He said, looking up at the fairy lights. "This isn't just against Voldemort and his Death Eaters. It's a war against human nature, we won't ever fully win." He said tiredly, turning his glass in his hands.

"Wow Severus, you've managed to be more depressing to day than usual." She said after a moment of silence, wanting to get away from such a morbid tone. "I guess I'll just have to stay here and cheer you up."

At that he only raised an eyebrow "Yes Hermione I am sure you could very easily 'cheer' me up." He said sarcastically. "Perhaps we could go dancing and laugh gaily whilst stumbling over each other."

"We could" She said joining along.

"And never forget we must partake of many desserts afterwards" He said with a smile.

"Oh Absolutely." She said laughing. "Well why not?" She asked not-so-innocently, bracing herself for the lashing that was sure to follow.

"Trust me Hermione; you don't want that to happen." He said instead.

Staying quiet for a moment she turned her gazed out to look at all the others. No ones gaze ever stopped on them, sliding over seamlessly from the oak on her left to the one on his right. Realizing just how invisible they were, she felt suddenly emboldened. Hopping of her chair and sauntering over to him, she leaned down until she was close enough to feel his breath on her neck. "You forgot one thing." She said softly against his ear.

"And what's that?" He said smoothly, with no reaction showing through his speech at all.

"I'm not afraid of you." She said, as she leaned back just a little bit. With that, she kissed the tip of his nose, winked at him saucily, and turned to walk away.

At least that was what she intended.

Instead she found herself being twisted around, unbalanced, and pulled down until she was very precarious perched unceremoniously on his lap. "You know Hermione, I did say you shouldn't play games whit me." He whispered, tickling the hairs on the back of her neck. "And I was completely serious" He said, gently stroking the pulse point on her neck. Abruptly he raised her up until she was standing and turned her around to face him "Do you understand me?"

At that she nodded dumbly, only glancing up at him quickly when she realized he would let her go when he wanted to and not a moment beforehand. When he finally did let go, she quickly turned and walked away, forcing herself to not look back. "What the hell was that?" She asked herself as she steadied herself under the guise of adjusting her shoe. She could still feel his eyes following her. Completely confused and entirely uncertain about what she wanted; the one thing she did know was that she no longer wanted to be at this party. Walking silently to the entrance of the path, she noticed the flowers adorning it had changed slightly. Going deeper into it, she realized it had to be a different path, there were no stone borders at all, just the flowers outline the walkway. "Please garden," She whispered quietly. "I just want to go back to me room." Blinking back tears that were suddenly coming on she didn't see the garden reorganize itself around her. No longer was she in a walkway, instead, seemingly instantly, she had been centered in the swirl of stones, that would bring her back to the castle proper. "No!" She whispered silently, flicking her eyes from stone to stone, around the entire area, desperate for a stone to take her anywhere.

Each and every stone was blank.


	9. Chapter 8

The Long Road Home

Intermission

By Jenna Black

At fifteen minutes after she noticed to stones were blank, she began to recover her senses and slowly made her way back to the party. The others must know.

At one hour after the stones went blank she finally, _finally_ found Harry and told him what she had seen.

At two hours, the party was officially over, and each faction was taking account of who was there and who was not.

At four hours, they had the names of the missing. Three of Neville's people - Ashby, Lyle, and Bela, and one of Harry's – Molly Weasley.

At five hours, no one was speaking, each off in their own little world, subtly watching the stones that had reappeared in the garden paths. The garden had changed, lost is party atmosphere. There was no breeze, and no sounds except the quiet whispers around her.

At seven hours the fighting broke out. Within 20 minutes anyone with red hair was either nursing a black eye or a bruised hand.

At eight hours Hermione succumbed to sleep as the sun slowly rose.

At fourteen hours she woke up, and wished she was still sleeping, the nightmare that was her dreams had been more pleasant then the nightmare of being trapped in the garden.

At twenty hours she found her way back to the disillusioned Severus wishing to disappear herself. He stared at her arrival but said nothing.

When the clock they couldn't see rung out 2:oo AM, she realized it had been over 24 hours, and wondered if they could be stuck here forever.

When it was 2:00 AM again, she was cried herself to sleep, feeling half crazy from the silence permeating the garden.

When she awoke, it was light again. She stood and walked, trusting the garden to not lead her astray and walked some more. Coming to an opening in the path, she found herself in a part of the garden she had never been before. Settling on the edge of a cliff, the sun warmed her back; she closed her eyes and smelt the ocean. Opening her eyes, she could see the waves lapping far below her. Losing herself in the rhythm of the waves she let herself drift away, until all of a sudden a strong breeze rustled against her, whipping her hair around and making the smell of the ocean mix with the smell of the flowers and dirt behind her. Standing quickly, she turned around and made her way back to the crowd, a gentle wind carrying the sounds of gulls all the way. Unless she was mistaken, this return of noise and wind meant the stones would take her home again.


	10. Chapter 9

Authors note at end! Please Read!

The Long Road Home

Chapter 8

By Jenna Black

When she retuned to the circle it was to find a very angry mob. A golden band of light had encircled everyone; no one was near enough to touch a stone. Severus was the only one outside of the circle, his wand obviously supplying the power for the band. Seeing her he flicked his wand, and she found herself gliding helplessly into the throng. "Snape! Let us out of here!" She heard Harry and Neville yell to her left.

"As soon as you calm down I will." He replied, keeping his voice as even as possible. "Every moment you fight is another moment you will not return. We must form teams and search the castle swiftly and thoroughly. We must find those missing as quickly as possible." When Harry and Neville remained silent he let them each out of the circle. Rapidly, they called off names in twos and threes, sending each group to a different part of the caves to search, with orders to meet in the Main Camber upon completion of their area. Hermione was sent with Remus and Severus to search the Potions Corridor and Library.

Quickly walking to the stone that said **Potions Laboratory: 1**; Hermione noted the stones were not as evident as before. Many more were blank, and some containing writing had been broken, the writing barely legible at times. _What will find when we get there?_ She thought to herself as she touched the stone, praying at least some of the Hogwarts Caves that she had grown to know would be there.

Opening her eyes she let out the breath she had been holding. The Laboratory was the same; it hadn't been bothered at all. Moving quickly they made their way down the corridor, find undisturbed labs all along the way.

"The runes seem to have hidden this corridor from the Death Eaters" Remus said, opening another door and finding another empty room. They quickly finished the corridor, and Hermione's chest loosened a little bit as they did.

When she entered the library, however, her heart broke. Bookcases had fallen, piles of books were left smoldering; some were little more than piles of ashes. The smell of smoke was choking her, stinging her eyes and drying her throat. She heard Severus speak something under his breath, and she noticed the smoke began funneling away through the closed window. After a few moments most of the smoke had disappeared and they could see the clearly enough to risk searching it. They made their way slowly across the room, extinguishing those flames that remained, looking for any of the missing people, or any sign of their capture. The work was slow going, picking their way around uneven piles of books, looking through fallen bookshelves, righting tables and chairs as they went. As they reached the end of the room Severus tersely said "Silence". Stopping instantly, Hermione heard a woman's whimpers, followed by the sound of breathing. Following the sound, they lead her down one of the few book aisles that hadn't been compromised with the collapsing bookshelves.

Curled into a corner was a woman, naked and badly beaten; whether she was unconscious or simply sleeping after her ordeal couldn't immediately be seen. Rushing to her quickly, Hermione took stock of her injuries as Remus and Severus set to work healing her. _This has to be Bela_, Hermione thought, a pretty smiling girl when they had met at the party. Her hair was normally blond, but now appeared brown from the dried blood matting it. Both eyes were swollen shut, and the way her mouth was swollen she wouldn't be surprised if her jaw was broken. A long gash was across her neck. _They had slit her throat, _Hermione thought_ it was her good luck they had missed the carotid artery. _It had partially healed, or at the very least was no longer pumping out blood. Hermione's stomach turned over at the sight of the bites and bruises liberally applied all over Bela's body, and she truly expected to lose her stomach at the sight of a gash that followed from the top of her collarbone, across her chest and down across her right hip. She was certain the Death Eaters had violated her, thinking back to the party she placed Bela's age at 20 or 21, a calm girl, more serious than most girls her age but given what the world was now she wouldn't be that way for long. She was pretty, and for all her seriousness she had an innocent aura about her Hermione knew the Death Eaters would have salivated over. "Poor child" She muttered under her breath. As they finished up with the basic healing, she moved away from the trio, and slowly unbuttoned her robes. Working quickly she used a severing charm to split the garment in half, and soon after had a serviceable robe for herself and a blanket to wrap around Bela.

"Here, wrap her in this." She said, handing the blanket to the boys. Severus took the blanket from her, looking her up and down as he did. Nodding silently, Remus performed the _Levicorpus_ spell, and wrapped the blanket around her gently.

Silently making their way to the infirmary, Hermione noticed the damage as they went. The wards still shone along the wall, though some of them looked distorted, and blackened are if set aflame. Scorch marks were everywhere, and holes were etched into the hallways. Most of the rooms they passed were either torn apart, burnt, or some combination of the two. Some of the places where she knew there used to be a room now just contained blank expanses of wall. Those were the rooms that were so destroyed that they no longer really existed.

Walking into the infirmary Bela was gently unwrapped from her blanket, and put on a bed. Poppy Pomfrey rushed over pulling the curtains around them and shoo-ing Severus and Remus out. "You stay Hermione." She stated quickly, "I may need some assistance." Working methodically, Poppy started at the worst gash across her chest and never ceased her wand movements until the smallest bruise on her wrists had disappeared, whispering an unknown language all the way. "Now the difficult part" Poppy muttered. "I have to heal her insides" Casting a spell that sounded to Hermione like R_eviaso_, Bela's forehead, left knee, and several places on her stomach and chest started pulsing red. "The head is concussed," Poppy diagnosed clinically "And the knee is broken. Her kidneys have taken a beating and there is some damage to her ribs; several are broken, though some may just be bruised. I'll be keeping her out for a least the next few days, if not a week or more. Whatever information she has to tell us will hold until then."

"Could she be pregnant?" Hermione asked, thinking back to her knowledge of what the Death Eaters did. She was afraid to find out the answer.

"Not anymore" Poppy muttered angrily. "She was about three months along before the monsters got to her though." Stroking Bela's forehead, she paused for a moment "After what they did to her, I don't know that she'll ever be able to have a child again."

"Again? You mean she's given birth before?" Hermione said, surprised. She hadn't thought of Bela as much older than a student and never imagined her to have a family.

"Yes, at least twice, maybe three times judging by the scarring." Poppy said. "Thank Merlin; it gave her something to fight for."

"Yes." Hermione agreed, angrier than she could put into words. This girl, lying on the table should never have been there. _None of us should have to be here_ she thought to herself angrily. _This girl should be at home with her family, not fighting in a war where there are no survivors. _Stalking away she broke into a run, wanting nothing more than to get to her rooms.

Slamming the door behind her all the anger and pain she had been feeling over the past few days exploded forth as she took in her own rooms. Everything was ruined. The bed had been over turned and set ablaze. The dresser was in pieces throughout the room. None of her clothes were usable, and her papers, quills and ink were scattered on the ground. Shifting some of the wreckage to the side, she broke out in a sob as she looked at the shattered box that had carried her treasures from the magical world to the muggle world and back again. Her prefect pin was missing; her acceptance letter had FILTHY MUDBLOOD slashed across it. Her picture, the only picture she had remaining of her and her boys, was in tatters, torn into pieces and spat upon.

Lost in her rage, she grabbed blindly, throwing things and screaming out in her rage. "Not enough" Screamed on the inside, the rage burning within her still ablaze. Throwing open her door she walked straight into Severus. "Get off me!" She screamed, when he reached to grab her. "Don't lay a hand on me!" She cried as his grip on her just got tighter.

"Do you really think I'm going to let you rush off in this state?" He asked her. "The gardens thought it safe to come back but that doesn't mean there aren't traps or other dangers. That doesn't mean you couldn't get lost in your rage and wander around the back part of the caves until you dropped from exhaustion." He easily held her contained, which infuriated her even more as she twisted and turned trying to break free. What she didn't notice was that each twist and turn just got her more ensnared within his grasp, until she was heaving in anger against his chest having difficulty breathing. Restrained and lacking oxygen, her anger quickly faded away, leaving only the ashes of her fury inside her, and the hopelessness she felt would over take her. Closing her eyes to fight back the tears, she calmed her breathing and started noticing just how close she was to him. His arms were wrapped tight around, her head was tucked under his chin and she could hear his heart breathing through his robes. It relaxed her, and her hyperventilated breathing fading into slow, calmer breaths. She noticed he smelt horrible, a combination of the smoke from the library, and the salves and potions he had used on Bela, mixed with the coppery smell of blood.

"Please let me go." She said, quietly desperate to distance herself from the smell. When he released her she stepped away, grateful the nausea from the smells was subsiding but also missing the comforting _beat,_ beat-_**beat**_of his heart. Looking anywhere but at him, she worked hard to remain calm, and eventually asked the question she had been dreading. "How did the others make out?"

"Not very well." He answered. "Most of the rooms have been severely damaged. The runes kept them out of some rooms like the Potions Laboratories, but by and large there has been significant damage. The runes did do something more as well, however. Some of the Death Eaters entered into certain rooms and found they could not leave them. Others were attacked by the castle itself. Of the Death Eaters we found, four were dead and two were alive." He said, watching her carefully.

"Who?" She asked

"Crabbe and Goyle Sr.'s, along with Rosier and McNair were killed. Lucius Malfoy and a boy we haven't yet identified were captured." He said, doing his best to keep his voice even and not show his glee at the thought of Lucius behind bars.

"Good" she said roughly, looking at the ruin around her. "What about our people?" She asked, afraid for what had happened to the others.

"Of the four that were missing, Bela was recovered alive, as you know. Ashby was killed, rather quickly it appears; a small mercy but a mercy none the less. Lyle is missing, we assume dead, but possible prisoner. It appears he is the one that took down McNair." He paused for a moment, and she knew the worst was to come. "Molly Weasley is dead. She bled out from several wounds inflicted upon her body."

"She deserved the most mercy of us all." Hermione said bitterly, no longer holding back the tears she had been fighting at the news of Molly's gruesome death.

"There is more" Severus said, after a moment's silence. "The Death Eaters left some surprises in some of the rooms. Another group was lost when they entered a room with a trap in it; they disabled it in their dying breaths and saved many others. Of that group, one was an operative of Neville's, one was from Sweden, and one was a new recruit of Harry's; you would not know them." Taking a breath he continued, "Lucius put up a fight as we captured him. He cursed Arthur Weasley. Avada Kedavra. It was quick, and compassionate in a way, and some small comfort can be taken that he died along with Molly." Severus finished.

"Nothing about this is merciful." She whispered bitterly to herself, loud enough that she knew he could hear. "The only merciful thing will be the end of this goddamn war." At that she stood up, gathered herself and walked back into her room, anxious to put the bed to rights and abandon herself to sleep.

Waking up the following morning it took a moment for the reason why her room was such a wreck to come back to her. After a blissful moment's peace it came upon her in waves; first the party, then the missing, seeing the state of the caves, caring for Bela's broken body in the stacks, hearing of Molly and Arthur's deaths. At that, her stomach gave a lurch, and if it weren't for the fact she hadn't eaten in nearly a day and a half she would be seeing what she had most recently ingested. Groaning slightly she felt mildly comforted by the warm presence of crookshanks against her side. "Hey Crooks." She said affectionately. Standing and stretching, she made her way to the bathroom. _Destroyed as well_ she thought sadly. The porcelain tub had a large crack which neatly cleaved it in two, with what must be the broken pieces of the toilet and vanity lying in the bottom of it. The sink was pulled way from the wall and there were chucks dug out of the rock. Walking back into her room she grabbed her wand and began the task of putting things right again.

Three hours later here rooms were back to a semblance of normality; her ruined robes were transfigured into something serviceable albeit plain, and only smelt slightly smoky. Finally, after she had charmed the comforter for the seventh time and settled on a light blue, she could think of no other reason to remain in her rooms. Steeling herself against what was coming, she made her way up to the main meeting room.

She did not encounter a soul on her way. Looking around, she truly saw that the caves were in ruins. Everywhere she looked, paintings were shredded, walls had deep gashes and chunks broken out of them, ceilings had partially collapsed. Entering the meeting room, she couldn't suppress the cry of anguish that rose up within heart at the sight of the room. Settling her gaze on the table, she saw that it too had been burnt, and the "King Arthur" table was little more than scorched ruins now, its chairs scattered about the room in pieces. Worse of all were the walls; and the paintings. _Ron, Ginny._ she moaned silently. All the portraits that had been so meticulously painted of the fallen comrades had been burned or torn.

"Don't worry." Harry said, coming up behind her, putting his hand on her back and leading her to one of the rickety chairs that had been brought in. Leaning down to look her in the eye he said "No one was in a portrait that was destroyed. It seems they stayed one step ahead of the Death Eaters. We haven't lost them; we just have to wait for them to come back."

"Please tell me we're going to get them for this Harry." She said, and edge of desperation in her voice.

"We will, Hermione." He said, grabbing her hand and squeezing it tightly. "We will". Comforted by the fierceness in his voice she asked the other question she had been wondering.

"What happens now?" She looked around the room at the people that had gathered. There had been some in the room as she entered, as a far off corner of her mind had noted, but now there was a large crowd, looking to Harry to see what to do. _Their Leader. _ She reminded herself again, having fallen into the pattern of seeing him as his teenage self once again.

"Now we get through this day." Harry said gently, standing up and bringing her with him to the front of the room. Turning to the crowd, he began speaking to them in a voice everyone could here, and none could forget. "The past few days have been some of the worst in recent times." Looking around the room his eyes came to rest on Neville. "We have all lost people'" he said, and her eyes flicked involuntarily to the remainder of the Weasley clan. Looking at the five of them gathered tightly around each other she realized with a shock that they were all that was left; the nine that she had known had been pared down by four. As Harry continue talking she fell into the habit Severus had warned her against so fervently those few nights ago in the alcove at the party. Looking at Draco, Neville, and Harry, she saw only Ron, Pavarti and all the other classmates of their year that had died before their time. _So many people_ she thought sadly, thinking of her years at Hogwarts and the good times they had had. Coming back to Harry's speech, she heard him say, "Spend today with your loved ones." Taking a deep breath she saw his eyes blinking rapidly to keep back the tears. "Meet back here at sunset, for the memorial service of those lost. Tomorrow," he said, balling his hands into tight fists, his body shaking with supped rage and sadness, "Tomorrow we plan our counter attack."

At that everyone made their was to their chosen family, and split off in different directions. When Harry put his hand on her back to lead her to the Weasley's she said "No, Harry."

"What?" Harry asked, giving her a concerned look.

"You go, she smiled sadly. "I just want to wander around. I promise not to disappear" She said at his continued look.

"It's not that Hermione" he said, "I know you're back, fully and truly back; but I have noticed how much time you spend by yourself. It's not you."

"But it is me" She said, looking him straight in the eye. "It is me _now." _She emphasized the final word, hoping that by drawing it out it would make him understand. Thankfully it did.

"Okay" He said, "I'll see you tonight." With a quick pat on her shoulder, he made his way to the Weasley's and was gone.

Leaving the Meeting Room she found herself walking about aimlessly; the garden still felt too tainted a place to be, and if she went to the Library she'd either break down at the sight of it in pieces or break down imagining Bela's torment. Continuing walking, her mind was made up for her when she entered the Potions Lab. Entering, she felt a calming peace sweep over her. These rooms had been untouched, and in them she could pretend the five days since Halloween had never happened. Walking to the stores, she pulled down the ingredients for the next potion she had been planning on making.

"What are you doing here?" She heard Severus ask from behind her.

"I'm making a potion" She replied, searching for the blixliy-root juice.

"Don't bother preparing that" he said, gesturing to the healing potion she had been intending to begin. "I finished all the stores we'll need of it several hours ago."

"Very well then." She responded, turning around and waiting for direction. "What would you suggest?"

"We will need more Twitchells Balm." He said, walking overt to the shelved cauldrons ands pulling down several of varying sizes and materials. _The balm is a powerful restorative_ she remembered. _It's useful with extremely deep cuts and extensive, severe burns. It could have person with third degree burns over 90 of their body up and walking in under a week. The downside, of course,_ she added in her mind _ Is that it is an extremely difficult, demanding base creation, requiring at least two people to carefully monitor 5 cauldrons simultaneously over several hours._

"Right" She said quickly, and turning around, began pulling down and prepping the first of the balms 34 ingredients.

They worked in companionable silence for a while, before Severus took a moments rest to ask "What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be out with the rest of the mourners?"

"Perhaps." She answered. "But who's to say I am not with a mourner, regardless of his rather dubious actions?"

"Molly Weasley was a wonderful woman." He said, stirring cauldron #5 gently.

"Yes she was," Hermione agreed. "She will be missed." She said somberly. "But I have done more than enough mourning lately, and haven't the patience for any more." At his look, she continued. "I will miss Molly and Arthur of course," she said, pounding the mixture in front of her a bit harder than was necessary. "But I wasn't family before I ran, at least not in the way that Harry was; and I'm certainly not family now. I'd rather avoid their reminiscences of the past years." Putting the doughy substance into cauldron #2 she moved on to cauldron #3 and began stirring the gelatinous liquid. "I am _back_ in this world," she said, stirring viciously, "And I _belong_ in this world, but I don't yet belong _to_ this world. Do you understand?"

"More than you could know," He said, adding another ingredient to cauldron #4.

Three hours later they had finally finished combining the last two cauldrons. Now the balm had only to simmer until the proper thickness was achieved. "It is time for the memorial." Snape said looking at the timepiece built into the workroom wall, as he adjusted the flame of the fire. "This will keep until we return."

"Very well." Hermione said. She walked to the door of the classroom and retrieved one of the coats she left there. It was meant to be used of hazardous potions, but it would be sufficient to keep her warm outside, plus the comforting smell of the potions would help her get through this night.

AUTHORS NOTE...

I have a horrible memory, as any of my friends will attest to. But I still remember the day in my graphic design class then the first chapter of this story popped into my head. There was a sub that day, who had no idea what we were supposed to be doing, and probably imagined I was working on a school paper. Or was happy at least that I was using Microsoft Word. I wasn't playing games or acting up like the rest of the class. The teacher was out sick for a week, and in that week I wrote the first three chapters to this story. I cherish this story, and the ideas that I had at one time to take it to it's finish. It sat abandoned for a year or so after I graduated in 04, and when I went back to it I tried desperately to capture the essence of the story that I once felt. I tried, and I think I did an ok job. But I don't feel comfortably about just being ok.

I hate the idea of abandoning a work, and just leaving it unfinished in the ether. In fact I still visit the stories that I loved in my youth that were abandoned, such as Pawn to Queen and Last Tango in Paris. When I was younger I swore I would never do that. But it's been 4 years since I really worked on anything to do with this. And it's been 6 since the last time I truly 'connected'. A lot has happened in those year, graduating, attending (but not graduating) college, getting married, having a baby that's now a toddler. This story, and all the other ones that I wrote for FanFiction will always hold a place in my heart. But they aren't me anymore, and to try to pretend otherwise just comes across as empty to me. FFN saved my life as a teen, it gave me a place to survive and thrive in a world that I was failing in. But that's not the case anymore.

So here's what I would like to do... to anyone who has read this story (or will in the future) and would like to have an ending... you end it. I welcome any continuation from any writer, because I feel very bad for leaving my characters in this state. The only thing I ask is to send me a message and let me know, because as much as I no longer feel able to write the work myself, I would still love to have a resolution... something I think all readers deserve.


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